So you in Cluck-halla, motherfuckers.

Gniles XVI ⚜️ Bikaji XIV
Quest Journal.
+ Uncommon whishlist item to Blathnat Gealach
+ Uncommon whishlist item to Blathnat Gealach
+ Uncommon whishlist item to Blathnat Gealach
So we had gone out to the beach for a celebration. Bláthna, Edwyna, Be'bop and I planned to hit the beach. The entire time Tassi kept making comments about me dying. I kept questioning her on it but she would not elaborate. It was just a normal beach trip. She handed me a potion of healing. It was a kind gesture at least. We got some supplies, but no food. Bláthna's familiar was a bottomless pit that could not resist food.
Once at the beautiful beach we sat down got sorted. Tassi...smoked. Then she stripped and ran into the water along with a naked Bláthna. Edwyna and I were on the beach lounging when a massive chicken rose up and out of the water then yelled and everything went black....when we woke up were in in "Cluckhallah". We had died...I can't be dead I needed to go to work! I began to panic, but we were in limbo! Not quite Cluckhalla yet. That was what our spirit guide had told us. We were told that no one had left before but I didn't care. They have said that about all technology. I would find a way.
At the gate of Cluckhalla we were told we would shape into chickens. Our limbs would blow off and we would turn into eggs. Devin let us know all of this and reminded us that it rains corn on Fridays. Devin was a sea serpent before this life.
We spoke with the Oracle to see if there was a way to leave. It challenged me intellectually..."What could I be doing that was more important than corn on a Friday?" I created a random block and tackle....which was not for fishing but I managed to make it work and bring up a fish from the water we were standing over. That impressed him and he let it go. The oracle let us know at the top of the tree. Very far away and atop a few thousand steps was a potal back home. So we decided to take the trip.
It was so many stairs. As we climbed the steps we were attacked by a bunch of chickens! They were nasty little buggers. They turned Tassi to stone! Things were not going well! We had to leave that girl behind....it was awful. I couldn't help her, but I was able to take pieces of the chicken boss to craft later...if we survived.
We climbed stairs for what felt like ages until we made it to the top of the tree and there we spotted a three headed chicken thing! It was at the top of the tree and there we had to fight. I was able to cast my faerie fire and it made good on its affects. My notes set up Edwyna for what was easily the most devestating attack she had ever seen. A massive force centered on all three heads of the monster and it created a vacuum around the three heads and killed the creature. The cockberus was harvested for parts.
When we passed through the portal the sun was on a new position...I was going to be late for work!
We went to the beach. Amara called me beef curtains. What a bitch.
Blathnat and I went skinny dipping. Giant chicken monster showed up and killed us all. Sent us somewhere...
We met Cluckien at the River Strips in Limbo. He is going to take us to Cluckhalla. It’s where you go when you die. Bummer. Blathnat asked, “Why do men over 30 like birds?” Because their relationships have gone stale says this guy... Blathnat thought it’s because little boys like dinosaurs.
He also said that Cluckhalla is wonderful. We’ll be there forever. Most start the day by pecking at the ground for a few hours until lunch and then switch to pecking at grass. On Fridays they eat corn. It was implied that we will turn into chickens when I asked if it was a problem we don’t have beaks. No one’s ever left Cluckhalla before according to Cluckien.
Amara had a panic attack. She was really worried she’d lose her job. I told her she most assuredly had because Be’bop is a bitch.
Steven greeted us. He used to be a sea serpent. He let us know that turning into a chicken is a horribly painful transformation. Wait till your arms and legs to blow off and you turn into an egg. And you get a free Viking hat. It rains corn on Fridays. He played chicken with Blathnat. She won. I called him a bitch. He said, “What do you expect? I’m a chicken.”
We knocked on the door of the oracle’s house and asked if there was a way to leave so that Amara could go back to work. “What is it you do that is more important than eating corn on Fridays?” said the incredulous oracle. Amara created a block and tackle and tried to fish with it. She caught a lobster. There was a lot of talk about corn side dishes.
There is a portal at the very top of the tree that leads up into the clouds. It will take us back, as long as we don’t die here. If we die, we are stuck.
We started climbing the inside of the tree and were swarmed by little chicks and one big bat winged bastard. I got stung and started turning into an egg. I tried to hold on, but...