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Voyagers: Vianova
Adventure Recaps
Voyagers: Vianova
Dungeons & Dragons 5e
© 2026 WestMarches.games
Echo Chambers
•
I explained that we needed to travel to Teikoku, I mean Tibasa, to seek the molt of a serpent named Vasylko by the Lovchyn family. We should seek out the Lovchyn for permission to travel into the valley where it lives.
Nan made a beeline for the Crab Shack and got a bouquet of horseshoe crabs and a tub of melted butter. She explained she'd seen a ship with black sails recently. Men from the jungle loaded some crates, the ship departed, and they went back into the jungle.
I met Fran Lovchyn at port. She think Vasylko may be a fairy tale meant to keep the family out of the dangerous valley where they do adult stuff. Gary was certain that meant adults have orgies in the valley. I assured him we do not need to participate. He explained that because of his alpha musk no one participates with Gary. I am unsurprised that Gary is a virgin.
Story says Vasylko resides at the base of the ravine. There is a stone temple that the serpent rested in. The molt is likely in the space it finds safest.
She gave us some warnings: Don't swim in the river. There are little fish that really like to bite—piranha.
Moonshiners might be operating in the valley.
Gary peed in the river and a titanoboa popped out and tried to bite his dick off. We put it down and crossed the river to inspect a statue. The head was missing and it was covered in moss. I had considered praying at it for luck until I saw humanoid skulls at its base. I don't know anything about religion, but this didn't seem like it would be a benevolent deity. I helped Nan look for any sign of a button, switch, or lever that may open something. No luck. She tried to take a rubbing of some faded words on the statue. Gary explained that it was in the Alpha language that said, "Our lady of... watch over..."
Eventually the trees gave way to a little path that led to a doorway in the rocks. There were stone steps leading down into the dark. Gary thought this might be where the "adult parties" happen. I started walking down into the darkness.
Glowing etched serpent on the floor of a path with no siderails. Gary got down on all floors and started smelling for magic. He assured us there was magic in the air but wasn't sure what flavor. I touched the glowing markings on the ground and a great serpent appeared. Thordak charged in and attacked it when it hadn't shown any signs of aggression.
When defeated we discovered the serpent was long dead, and we had fought a memory of it. We found it's skeleton and feathers.
Amara Pomraw
•
Our party has been making their way through the aqueducts of Yharnam. Trailing through the memories of Lord Jaeger's old hunting grounds.
We have fought insane hunters, beastly men, deformed giants, rabid hounds. Now these water ways hide rotting, water-logged corpses that cling to enough life to make it a problem. As well as more poisonous rats that crawl out of ever hole and crevasse.
After being put into our nap we awoke at our rest spot in the "loot room". We took a new path that led us to a large body of dirty murky water. In it was filled with those drowning skeletons we had become used to. Knick and Piprim took a massive beating from them. We took out a lot, but so long as their remains were in the water we couldn't see them so we sent a lot of time fighting blind. We cleared the pool and continued to move.
We ran into a large group of men that we had to fight off.
We spent a ton of time killing dozens of skeletons and collecting loot.
Amara Pomraw
•Last time the party discovered that Cranburg was at the mercy of some strange creature that had founded a base of operations to carry out its vile experiments on the townsfolk. It was messing with their minds. Removing brains and keeping them in jars. Torturing and twisting them into confused psionic creatures who would lash out at anything around them. Fortunately, the party managed to find the lost husband, but by then they had taken many serious wounds and were low on resources. They were forced to flee with their prize in hand.
Now the guild was sending us back to finish the job. On the train to Hfar I did some spell scroll crafting. It was fun.
The issues arrived when we got to town which was empty. Silent. It was like no one was ever there at all. At the Inn we found signs of a massive brawl that had taken place. In our digging we found a note:
"To whoever may find this, we had to leave. The town went crazy. Neighbor against neighbor, I sent Wick and Dot to Hfar to be with their uncle.
I'm going to defend my bar with my last breath.
If anyone reads this, know that something possessed the town....and I don't think we are going to survive."
Our escapades led us to a mine that was located deep in the woods. It took us a couple of hours to hit the abandoned tin mines. I had never been here before, but the party assured me this was a place that had been explored already. Then we were attacked by rats. It was awful half of our party was knokced unconscious. I was able to help kill them with my radiant damage as normal attacks did little to the swarms.
I was able to carve a path into something deeper. An illusion hid a secret path that led to a myconid den. We slew the mushrooms with some trouble and Knick almost died.
Next we fought another set of rats and some gross worms that popped out of the water and tried to eat your thoughts.
Amara Pomraw
•We had been hired to deal with a crab problem. We had gone in and fought about two dozen crabs. A man needed us to stall the problem out while he found some sort of long term solution. Our party took a beating of epic proportions across two combats. Knick, Sapphyre, and very nearly Heav'lyn were almost taken out. But with spell and skill we survived. I made us a snack as we took a break before the next wave came in.
After our break we went on the search and whole looking at a massive pile of rocks it MOVED. This was the Crab God! Hw was gargantuan. the size of the training room in the guild at least! I was able to mark him with my farie fire
Echo Chambers
•Received a letter from a town down the way that is conviniently placed a half day’s journey from Springreach. A shepherd is having problems with their sheep. They’ve requested some adventurers come and help them. It was signed “sad little frog boy.”
We approached the sheep pen. There was an object in his belt that looked like a wand or tonfa. He called it a sheep poking stick. He poked them with the pointy end to get them to stop what they’re doing. The sheep are sad and a trip to the beach would make them happy. We need to get the crabs off the beach. They are inherently evil and will harm the sheep.
Knicks pokes and prods old people to get what she wants. She tried to explain this to the little frog boy. He interrupted this as Knicks provides them with activity. He also thinks their hair looks like sheep sometimes.
Dead fish smell. Really rocky beach. A gross amount of crabs. They all died and he was a happy little frog boy.
Amara Pomraw
•Lord Jaeger is still deep within his coma. His mind lost to the streets of his old hunting ground. But where oh where has he gone? Our party is trying to fight their way through buckets of blood and pain to find out.
So once my we enter his mind and into the mess. Fighting and death was sure to be found in here.
Our first fight was a ton of rats and a three massive men holding giant bricks. I was able to save our party from annihilation with a magic item and a good use of a spell. Making two of the large ones scared of me. After they fled they were unable to muster the courage to come back for some time. In that time we killed the third man and finished off all of the rats. It was good timing too things were looking bad.
With the reprieve our party was able to rally and the others slew the remaining in record time. it was impressive.
We found a treasure room filled with drowned corpses that were undead and a ton more rats. Our party almost died killing them off!
Echo Chambers
•Wesley showed us a letter:
To the Springreach Adventurers' Guild,
My name is Jenni Dawnwillow, of Cranburg, east of Hfar. Four days past my husband Taelor went into the woods to check his snares and never came home. He has hunted these hills all his life. He does not get lost, and he does not vanish. The men who went looking found nothing at all — no blood, no tracks, not so much as a dropped arrow — and after a single day they gave up.
There have been lights in the hills at night, near the base of the mountain where no one keeps a fire. The reeve says it is nothing. I know what I have seen.
I have little coin, but I have a locket of silver and moonstone — old elven work, in my family longer than anyone remembers, worth a small fortune. It is yours if you can bring my Taelor home, or at least tell me what became of him.
Please come quickly. Something is wrong here.
With all the hope I have left,
Jenni Dawnwillow
We took the train to Hfar and headed west to Cranburg. I asked after Jenni and was told, “Just down there two houses past the Drowsy Martin.” Jenni said she was not married and has not seen lights in the hills. She doesn’t know anyone named Taelor.
Heva’lyn headed toward the tavern and I followed. There was a woman behind the bar named Petra. There were two men in their mid-forties, 2 kids—a boy and girl named Wick and Dot— running around in the back, a young shepherd girl in her 20s, and someone with flour on their apron.
Holice and Marin were the men in their mid-fourties. The went hunting with Taelor many times. The went out searching for him, but couldn’t find him. He normally traps in the northeast quadrant, but they found no sign of him there.
Petra the bartender seemed suspicious when we asked about Taelor. She did confirm that he was married to Jenni. Jenni had come into the bar several days ago screaming that no one was doing anything to help. When questioned if she’d seen lights she hesitated. When questioned if others had gone missing she mentioned her son did quite a while ago, although they’ve never found a body. Wick and Dot are his children. Petra is actually their grandmother. She delivered a drink to Taelor’s seat then looked at it confused and drank it herself.
Heva’lyn went to inspect Jenni’s house to see if it looked like a man lived there. He wasn’t certain. When Jenni passed a table with a pipe on it. She looked confused, stopped, and then walked past it.
Knicks questioned the kids. They were fighting over whether she could breathe under water. Knicks asked about their dad’s disappearance a year ago. He went hunting and didn’t come back. Knicks asked if they had noticed her grandmother acting strange or forgetful. They’ve also noticed her putting out the cups for Taylor. They have seen blue lights in the fog near the old tin mines in the north west quadrant. The adults go out looking, but come back really fast and say they didn’t find anything.
Tansy—the shepherd—introduced herself to me twice.
Garvin—the miller—thought Taelor went to Hfar to sell pelts. He repeated this. Down by the river gorge to the south east is where the strange things happen. Perhaps we should look there. Garvin couldn’t clarify what was strange and said he wasn’t feeling well. He stood up and walked to the door. We tried to follow, but couldn’t find him.
We tried to find the river. We walked for hours and didn’t see it. We came back to the city and decided to head to the mines. We heard rustling in the bushes of multiple things following us. Heva’lyn tried to convince the party to turn back. When that didn’t work he fairie fired the party. Knicks stabbed him in the thigh. Sapphyre said everyone was being childish and started to walk away. Qualia used magic to grab Heva’lyn and he snapped out it. I got very confused and walked into a bush. When I snapped out of it I saw rats with exposed brains that were glowing. A second swarm emerged from the bushes to swarm Qualia. We destroyed them all and Qualia studied the corpses. The brains were swollen and enlarged. The removal process was done perfectly with a skill she had never seen before.
We heard a voice call to us from the brush. A yellow spotted tabaxi came out bushes. His name was Pah'Thuun. His hunting party was injured and he asked for our help. Heva’lyn didn’t trust him. We followed him 20 minutes. When we refused to follow him into the mine he told his friends to ambush us. They were immune to fear. They did not cry out when injured. They did not cry out when they died. A floating brain did come out of their corpses. They tried to crawl into our mouths before they were destroyed.
We had to talk Heva’lyn into the caves to destroy the remaining brains because. We came to a dead end, but Sapphyre realized it was an illusionary wall. We walked through into an area full of twinkling fungal growth. I was incapacitated and before I was able to shake it off Qualia dropped dead.
We proceeded and found a room with rats and brains in cages behind glass. They watched us, but we could not target each other.
We attempted to open a door in the next room and brains in jars began to attack. We almost didn’t make it out alive.
In the last room we found Taelor and returned them to town. Everyone recognized him except for Jenni. We agreed to come back to try to defeat whatever if in the center of that cavern.
Echo Chambers
•A temple was discovered after an earthquake on Mt Vidal. It was been partially explored before, but it felt alive and constantly changing. It’s full of monsters and unexplained treasure chests. A temple that belonged to Kesuth worshipers. Some of the primordial writing speak about the inferno vault. Take the worthy toward the center for some sort of blessing.
Bikaji bought a black pearl which Edwina crushed for her. Edwina bought a jeweled dagger. I assumed they both had disgusting things planned with their magics.
We sailed a few days to get there. We climbed the mountain to the entrance and we could feel the heat coming off it. We followed winding caves for about 20 minutes until we found a glowing pool of lava in a man made trench of red crimson marble. There were pictures on the walls. The air was hot and humid.
We fought off 4 fire elementals. We found a chest with 3 greater healing potions. We found a group of salamanders. After defeating he followers the leader melted into the lava and disappeared.
I found a plaque that seemed very clean for the environment. Edwina told me it said " Trial of the Faithful — beyond lies the Inferno Vault. Prove thy devotion in flame." It opened up into a much larger room. Chaos was inside. Dragons and their kin guarding large crystals. Bik put up a wall of death that blocked most of them from getting to us. Without that we would have been cooked.
Edwina said the dragonkin were saying, “You’ll make a good gift for Vharkul, we’re going to take you to Vharkul.” I think that he was something huge that would eat us.
Edwina tried to rally us to fight the rest of the dragonkin, but we were low on resources and refused. She asked them if we could have any of their treasure and they said absolutely not. We left empty handed, but at least we had our lives.
At the exit we found something strange. A chest with 2500 gold and a note that said "Come back soon, mother misses you." Who the hell is mother?
Amara Pomraw
•The Arkham has gone missing at sea. So Wesley gathered us to go see what was going on. Some other adventurers were sent to document strange mist on that ship. Weird island. Just all around odd stuff. He said he sent in the B team. Now we needed to be the A team to save them or solve the original problem. Send us off and touch base at the very least. With the keys to the ship in hand we headed out to see what was going on. He would pay us 300 gold pieces.
Of course on the way over someone made the mistake of speaking to a weirdo in front of the door and through some...probably drugs we woke up in a land filled with dinosaurs. So we got into a fight. Three triceratops and something positively massive:
We slew each one. It was awful to be honest. I don't like killing and these creatures were beautiful. I did my best to do as little harm as possible.
Further along we spotted a T-Rex and a Spinosaurus. Of course that meant another fight! Compared to our last combat this was a slobber knocker. These dinos were insanely powerful and as far as I can tell very old. A single chomp from them had enough force to crush mountains. We killed them and harvested them as fast as possible.
The last dino was a "lighting-o-suraus" a massive flying creature. I was able to catch it with a well placed web. Grounding it. From there we laid into it in a big way.
Echo Chambers
•D-list adventurers were sent to accompany a ship called The Arkham. The rumors about mist in the sea around an island that may or may not exist. Homer Saperstein human fighter was amongst them.
Wesley gave us 1 gold for chips. Amara begged for more for root beer. Denied.
There was a strange creature at the docks. It said, “You should be careful. There are dinosaurs everywhere. The dinosaurs are after my baby.” Nan offered to defend the person. For gold. There was a puff of white powder when the creature handed Nan the baby.
We woke up in an area surrounded by dinosaurs. One of them was massive. At least 40 ft long. Amara and Gary carved it up afterwards.
Nan found cookies in a tree and that thing from the docks came back to demand we kill more dinosaurs. We followed the river downstream and found some predators. Both of them were very frightening. It dashed across the field and head bashed Gary. They both tried to eat us. Pushing something away when you’re locked in its jaw drags you along. This was surprising.
The last dinosaur that the thing wanted us to kill was a lightningosaurus with a 200ft wingspan. It was
The thing came back to teach us, “When you do crack the laws of physics don’t apply to you anymore.” We were also offered the crystal meth baggy of fast travel.
We sold dino parts for money.
Amara Pomraw
•Lord Jaeger's soul is still wandering his old memories. Doctor Pryce is desperate to find him and has more money to pay the adventurers who have been successful so far.
She needs us to go back. To explore the aqueduct and find the lords blood echoes so that he may return to the waking world.
The aquaduct...that will be a nightmare. We got to our spots and went to sleep. We appeared in the exact spot we left off last time. The aquaduct lay to out right so we headed right in. It was a lot more dry than I has anticipated. It looked like the rest of the city down in this area. We made it to a lone door and once opened we spotted a ton of nasty pustule rats and even worse humanoids. We spent a long time killing them. Dozens of rats. A few humans. If you could call them human.
We moved to a new room and more rats flooded the hallway. We were surrounded every second in this place it was awful. But we were able to find items and runes that gave us strength.
Next up we had more rats but then also...something else. Somethings else. Feral wolf like horrific monsters. They dropped Sapphyre. I was able to keep her alive and with good use of spell and skill and we able to survive. We called it a night from there.
Echo Chambers
•We made our way to Jaeger’s manor and Dr. Price asked if we were ready. We said nothing and they took that as a yes.
After arriving we headed into the aqueduct. We unlocked a very creaky door and alerted an army of “men”, rats, and the hated cripples. Bastion fell, maybe, I wasn’t clear on that as I’d been vortexed warped away to kick cripple ass.
We found a locked door. Amara noticed a poison trap which I expertly dismantled. Inside there was a chest, but four swarms of rats attacked from all angles. It was a day for area of effect damage. We found a new rune that allowed for extra healing.
Down another strange corridor we killed another two swarms of rats and some scourge beasts. We found a second rune that allowed for more damage on the hardest of hits.
We were very tired and decided to call it quits for the day.
James "Bastion" Walker
•
Dear Wes-man!
We went to Tibasa to recover a helmet for Gniles. When we got there I was overwhelmed by how warm it was.
After a short boat ride, and a fight with a 40-foot crocodile, we arrived at the village together. We agreed to go to a temple and find a relic to trade for it...
After fighting through the first few chambers (and traps) in the temple, we found the relic. Of course it had to be in the room I decided to grave rob from. The nice skeleton sleeping there were not quite happy about it.
After we located the jade snake statue we decided to keep exploring, we were finding LOADS of money in there. So naturally, we fought some more, and found some good loot. The last fight against two stronger ghost type creatures was a bit much and we had most of the party go down. We decided to leave, but it was a lot of good training and honing on my skills.
This one was pretty straight forward.
Until next time,
James "Bastion" Walker.
Hev'alyn
•
My best buddy Bastion and I went on another adventure. Rilifen was there too! we found out someone lost their head covering and really wanted it back. after going to this weird island really far away, we saw a HUGE crocodile and other animals that we much larger than they normally are. a baby crocodile that was over thirty feet long is not normal with my understanding. after finally getting to the Chipotle village filled with nothing but attractive women. The helmet was being used as a trash can. they gave me this really weird drink that made the world way more interesting. The hot women wanted to see if we were worth their time so they sent us to get a relic from a temple. we fought a ton of ghosts and skeletons that were less than inviting. we found the relic and a lot of gold before returning it and getting the helmet. I think this adventure was a lot of fun, I'd love to go back!
Amara Pomraw
•Bikadi was happy no boys joined us. Boys were not very useful. The Coil Crook is not in a vault. It is not in a collector's trophy room. It is not guarded by anything dangerous or dramatic. It was owned by a woman named Mabry. An old one. A nice one. Bikadi let her know that she wanted it. That was the item we were getting for her. We could resort to violence, but with no boys here it was stupid and silly to start a fight. So we asked for it and haggled to do a favor for her. Three of her special sheep were missing in the nearby woods. She wanted them returned. Along with something to replace the crook we were taking.
So into the woods we went. The woods were full of wisps and special bucks. All harmless, but some magic was afoot in this area. If you stepped in the wrong spot you found yourself teleported out of the woods. In seemingly random spots you would step and...you were gone. We were able to collect the sheep, but then a gargantuan sheep named grandmother Yue. She kept asking why we wanted the sheep. The others decided to just fight her. I thought that to be a bad idea. This lady was all powerful basically. She knocked both of them right out on a whim. She also popped a field of the most gentle and amazing wool around me. It was quite literally the most comfortable thing I have ever felt. So I made sure to collect as much of it as I possibly could!
We had a sleepover, well Bikadi left, but the rest of us stayed behind to have a good time.
James "Bastion" Walker
•Dear Wesley,
I am once again writing you to tell you of my adventure. We have embarked on a great quest to retrieve a stolen tome. A fella named Vasil Talistrome hired us because his friend robbed him of a book used to summon entities from another realm. He cannot accuse him publicly because it would result in his societal death. His friend is acting unlike himself, so beyond the return of the tome, he wants us to save his friend. A noble quest, certainly, I assume it shall be difficult, if possible at all. We collectively agreed to hire a merc from the new merc guild in town. We only had the three of us you see.
I asked around city hall to see if I could gather any further information from the family and Markos specifically, I was told quote “Book-nerd, gets negative number bitches.” We went to his house, the cute little Peter Pan guy flew around the windows and saw a nice looking fellah partaking in human flesh, much like the skin book we are looking for (allegedly). He did not locate the skin book. I tried knocking on the front door and posing as a very niche collector, a skin-book connoisseur if you will. I do not think that got me very far. We went through and fought a lot of things: rugs swords, suits of armor, alchemists, cultists, and a weird monster butler. Finally we drove our sword through the monster that was essentially possessing Marcos, we saved him, brought him back, and got paid. We also recovered the Skin Book. I got paid, everyone got paid, we all left happy.
Until next time boss.
Sincerely,
James "Bastion" Walker
Hev'alyn
•My good buddy bastion and I got a job from the guild to go find a skin book. it looks a lot like my book but more menacing. we scoured the house and found a lot of terrifying creatures. one of them gestured at me and gave me a splitting headache. we had a mercenary with us who was VERY impressive. he could swing a sword like no one I'd ever seen. after searching the house and rendering a few people unconscious. we found the book in a sub basement and returned it to the guild along with the strange fellow with amnesia. these people pay really well for some easy jobs. I may stick around for a long time.
Amara Pomraw
•Lord Jaeger is still cursed by eternal sleep and thus his mind has been fractured. Torn and split between his worst times and greatest accomplishments. We have been helping him by exploring his mind to find a way to bring him back from the void. Last time, our group slew a massive Cleric Beast and when we returned through the lamp, we were told that Lord Jaeger stirred a bit. Whatever we did in there seemed to help.
So once more we returned to the weird world that existed in this mans mind.
We decided to take a small trip and retrace our path to hit some spots we overlooked in our last adventure. Doing this ran us into a massive pack of dogs. Which as with everything else we decided to kill. Like with many things here they dropped little bits of loots. The bodies here were always filled with these little white, soul-like, things. Once touched they would show themselves as an item and most often these were "blood vials" I don't know why I knew that name but once I touched them I knew exactly what they were and even how to use them. Stab into your thigh, always in the exact same spot, and you would be healed. No matter how I tried to change how it functioned my body would always stab my right thigh with no variance whatsoever. It was so odd how things worked in this place.
We we followed that fight with another. This time it was humanoids one of them was massive about he size of a brown bear. He and his buddies were like all of the rest of the creatures in here. Scary and tough to deal with. The would always rush forward like a swelling wave on the sea over a barrier. They filled any gaps we could use to navigate the space.
Then you won't believe it! We ran into more dogs! Another fight for our lives! Sure once one of us died we would be pulled out of the dream, but that person would die in real life. The pain of it all was also real and would carry over too. On that topic Echo was savaged by a group of enemies. Dropped twice. Nearly died once. Took a massive amount of damage and I was on top of them to keep them breathing but it was close. Too close. We won the fight but it was hard earned.
We opened some chests. I was able to get a makeshift flame thrower, fueled by oil, and when I left the dream...It was not with me.
Dr. Price paid us and we headed out for the night. We would return later and enter a new area- the aqueducts.
Echo Chambers
•Dr Price was awaiting our return. We were offered drinks and snacks. That was new. She thanked us for coming back. “I know this is not traditional, but nothing about Lord Jaeger’s life was traditional.” We were sent into the dream.
The massive red moon hung impossibly low. The sound of screams, the roars of monsters, and the smell of blood. Welcome back to Yharnum.
Instead of crossing all the way over the bridge we backtracked to areas we hadn’t traveled yet. We killed 10 dogs and found another rune in a chest. Rounding another corner there was a large gathering. I was concerned when I saw the huge cleaver and an accursed wheelchair sniper, but we dispatched them with just a few scratches.
We backtracked even further and found more dogs and wheelchair snipers. They would hold shots for anyone that stuck their necks out. It went very poorly for Knicks. Amara drew fire once to clear the way but there was still a large fire in the hallway. With no concern for her safety, Sapphyre rolled down the stairs and across some ball bearings almost into flaming webs. I jumped over the bulk of the fire and charged into the thick of it while shouting to my companions, “Get down here, I’m probably going to die.” I did some serious damage, but was promptly stunned then knocked unconscious. I get knocked down, but I get up again. You're never gonna keep me down. Right back to beating cripples to death. Or mist.
We decided to return to the aqueducts next time we entered Yharnam.
Amara Pomraw
•A heavily enchanted vault door was found at the bottom of the sunken castle. Warded by ancient magics, there is only one way to open this door: a key left behind in the Emerald Order's compound. Getting the key should be a simple task. It never really is though not in this line of work...
Dr. Nabanik is eager to find out what is on the other side of the door and being here from last time we are in for an unwelcome surprise. So we needed to go to grab the key in some cultist lair. The first part to help Dr.Nabanik found this key, killed most of the cult....then left the key for some reason. So now we were back to grab it. In the base I found a map of Farryn. It was mostly empty. Only blood stains scarred the floor and walls. We explored for a while. We ran into a big dude who would have been scary if Echo didn't stun him and allowed us to kill him before he could do any damage.
We went back to the Sunken Castle we used the big key to open the big door. The big door led to...a big magic circle. I had Gar go in and she was gone. Then Echo went and the same thing happened. I lost both on my map which meant that they were on a different plane of existence. My maps can map anywhere no mater how far. Unless they were gone to a new reality...
We all went through the portal one by one. I was last and when I made it to the other side I was with Saphyre and Knick. The others were on my map a good ways away. Our group met up with Gideon and Echo but Magpie was further off. We needed to group up, all of us, and fast. This place was foreign and probably dangerous given what group we got the key from.
Before we made it to her we were attacked by a massive group of ghosts! I was able to pull her from the opposite side of the complex with a spell and once we were gathered together we made a stand a destroyed all of the enemies. Following some side stairs we found we actually ended up back in the castle and chatting with Dr.Nabanik!
Echo Chambers
•The Emerald Order has the key to the vault. Time to go back to their headquarters in the Golden Gorge.
We unlocked a door we hadn’t entered before. Amara found a set of healer’s tools and a surgeon’s kit, and those eye ball tack thingies. Amara dropped a torch down a rancid hole and gases were released.
Most things taken in a hurry. The blood hadn’t been cleaned up. Notes on charities, orphans, and outreach programs. Some very nice shoes which happened to be boots of dancing.
Knicks took the key and something emerged from the center of the courtyard. An evasion and two stuns were all it took to take him down with no casualties.
We went back to the sunken castle and backtracked to the underwater vault. Inside we found a portal to another plane. We were split into 4 groups. We were able to gather back together and fight some spooky creatures.
We found a chest with a set of gold goblets and a crystal decanter. The urns and baskets around had nothing of value. We found a second chest we found something shiny. We had an arm wrestling match later to decide who would walk away with it.
We ran into the good Dr. Out in the ruins. He asked what we found. Magpie offered to sell them waterbreathing to check it out themselves. I explained the portal to another plane and the crystal staircases we didn’t climb. Sapphyre believes the spires to be collections of souls. He added 60 pp to our loot.
Echo Chambers
•A blue dragonborn—William B. Blue—left a note that said, “come find out.” So we did. The “B” stands for Bobby.
He asked how many of us have questionable morals. What he wants is the horn of a blue dragon. We don’t need to kill him. We need to shave the horn down to get to the center core.
We are going to head up the mountain, knock on his door, beat him into submission, and take his horn. Billy Bobby Blue is going to set up a ballista and has some dynamite.
Bik wants to keep the dragon in one piece to make a zombie. She’s not even sure if that’s possible. She pulled out her zombified rat—Crouton.
Billy will let us have his prototype once he figures out if it works. That’s why he needs the horn. Wizards have spells that create walls. He believes he can do the same with his device to create a wall of lightning.
We need to hit the trail before salmon season to avoid tourists. He provided us with free transport on his stagecoach.
The salmon were everywhere out of the water in their own protective water bubble. They said to us telepathically, “Nudes, nudes, sex.” We were told they were salmon of knowledge and could fly 30 feet in 6 seconds. That was very specific.
There were kenku atop the hill. They said various strange things.
“Morning is good.”
“Love that chicken from pop-eyes.”
“Blood for blood god.”
“Guidance is good.”
“That’s what heroes don’t do.”
Gary offered them some bread for fish. They tossed Gary’s bread down the cliff.
They asked where we were going and I pointed up the mountain. Their response was, “There be dragons. Dangerous to go alone. Take this.” They provided us with a protection spell.
Billy gave us some poaching tips to bribe officials to get permits to kill specific creature.
He called me Oatmeal (how did he know?) and implied that I hate joy because I never read the book The Road to El Dorado. What’s an El Dorado?
Billy said, “We’re going to head over and blow a hole to get down to the layer. The front door is wherever we make it.” Bik found a cave entrance, and we decided to go that way instead.
We were looking the dragon in the face. Gideon and I tried to sneak in to plant the dynamite, but the dragon woke up and decided that Gideon tie it with a different knot. Then it turned invisible and we played cat and mouse for a long while until Bik took it out of the air.
Edwina took the lightning pylons and we found treasure in the hoard.
Echo Chambers
•A letter in the guild, that did not appear to be written but instead spelled out in block text:
THIS IS AN AUTOMATED REQUEST
A trap set by Randalf the Blank has been detected to have malfunctioned. Please visit <LOCATION DETAILS ENCLOSED> to reset the trap.
There were a set of coordinates at the bottom. On the back a treasure chest with some shiny coins inside that seems to be stamped on. The coordinates were located about 20 miles north east of Springreach. I drove the wagon containing Knicks’s barrel.
There were not so populated cliffsides as we traveled. Every so often a shepherd dwelling, lighthouse, watchtower. We headed toward a building that had a different appearance than the others. There were stones floating through the air in front of a multilevel house.
A creature with a spectral appearance spoke in our minds, “Interesting.” It looked like a floating jellyfish.
Sapphyre wanted to try diplomacy. She had a terrible time with the party yesterday. She doesn’t want to kill children. WHAT?! There was a bandit guy that agreed to played dead and she gave him some money for his trouble. People threatened to steal the money off the “body.”
A toy sized triceratops answered the door and asked for the masters note. It spit out 4 exit tickets. It was not allowed deeper into the house as it was the doorway watcher. It does not know anything about the trap, or pretends not to, and asked us to reset it.
Knicks tried to involve me in their plans with some Orphan leader. They needed to address Knicks’ plan with the Council of orphans. She said she was offering them fair wages. 30% cut. Signing bonus of 150 gold. My cut would be 15%. You need to raise up the young to feed off the poor according to Knicks.
We saw many odd things. Floor felt uneven even though it looked flat. We heard a big, “Cluck cluck.” Dwarf sized metallic chicken walking throughout the house. It has a key turning in its back. I told Knicks to take it for the orphans. She walked up behind it and tried to pick it up. Its legs continued moving. She named it Timmy. The clock hand it’s hand move in a figure 8. The views out the windows were not the same. Some were magnified. I shut off a running faucet and the water in the sink overflowed. I turned it back on and the water sucked back upward into the faucet. The grains on wood in the ceiling didn’t seem aligned. There was a very intricate chandelier. Walls on either side of the room are mismatched—two feet higher on one side. We found a set of carpeted stairs that led upward that darkened as they led up. There was also a doorway that potentially to another set of stairs. We jumped backwards up the stairs and found carved on a door the word grimoires. Inside was a library filled with pale green light. Things seemed blurry in the deepest recesses. On some of the bookshelves there were black marks notched into them dabbed with ink. Knicks found a person on “Careful, these tomes are cursed.”
He mentioned that the wizard had an interest in collecting creatures. Wanted a tome, which one was it? Will you help me search? Opened too many tomes. Far too cursed now to open any more. Offered the chicken. The dark powers demand a plaything and I am not amusing enough to them anymore. So lonely. It’s been so so long. I don’t want you to leave.
The strange elf man begged us to come back, but we managed to find our way out to a balcony.
The jellyfish came back and said, “Interesting.” It had been told that this place was dangerous for their kind, but it’s just so interesting. The bravest one of his kind remaining outside. The others went inside and never returned. It can watch over us from afar. It touched Knicks’ mind with its tentacle and can hear her thoughts. It asked us to find its kind inside and it will reward us.
Distorted but greenish tinged room. Broke a small hole in the window and it tried to suck Gideon inside cutting him badly.
We went back into the locked door and entered a nicely scented hallway, not the library. We found a knife slicing a carrot. There was also a whisk churning a bowl. The bowl had an odd mixture of fruits and vegetables. The bowl was placed into a dumbwaiter and sent elsewhere. Knicks put Timmy the chicken into the dumbwaiter. An unseen servant came by with a dish and both things were sent elsewhere. Sapphyre sent her fawn with a dish. She got no feedback from it.
I found an icebox on the other side of the room. There was a block of solid ice inside with something frozen inside. A porcupine named Crammel, was melted out, “I’m a person that got attacked by a mad wizard. I was a senior mage. I had tenure!” Randolf the Great and Terrible got him with a true polymorph spell. Our clothes seemed odd to him. The year did not make sense to him, “You must be using a different calendar.”
Crammel said that the trap was likely for Flumpfs that had destroyed an entire country in his world. Also that this house would be a series of dimensionally connected rooms.
Knicks found the chicken again. The chicken had an orange stain (mango puree—I tasted it) and some soot on it.
The door triceratops found us, “The trap is beginning to become unstable. Within. Below.” We went down and found a chamber opening wide. Walls faded into a stary expanse. There was a ghostly orb and a bronze dragon wrapped in golden threads. The threads were attempting to pull her into a glass container full of flumpfs. The Flumpfs said there was a switch to end the prison. The ghostly orb could not be damaged by a javelin. It passed right through it. Magic seemed to be absorbed by it. Timmy was sent into the magic circle and was pulled up toward the trap. The dragon’s breath made the sphere bigger.
I found a journal full of diagrams and showed it to the porcupine. He suggested we look for the off switch.
Knicks sent Crammel to talk to the pale elf in the library. A shadow killed it. We killed the pale elf and all the shadows. Found a clue in the library. We found a suspiciously clean toilet and flushed it. “System Resetting.”
We went back downstairs and the dragon was freed. We asked if she would free the flumpfs, “Those strange creatures are not of this world. We should not take undue risk.” Coughed up large blue sapphire and asked for the name of our guild. Refused to spread word of Knicks schemes.
Bob asked if we could send stronger adventurers to solve the problem.
James "Bastion" Walker
•A letter sent to Wesley via carrier pigeon on the ride home:
A former Mercenary named Erzal has offered us 1000 gold pieces in order to recover a family heirloom, a crest, which was taken by his former compatriots the Ivory Throne. You already knew that...
The current leader is an orc named Raskovar, bearing the title of Dohma. The family crest is somewhere in his mass of wealth.
I interrogated some locals and gathered some basic information. The Ivory Throne hangs out at a spot called the Hanging Tree. A special drink can be ordered to seek an audience with Raskovar. When we arrived we sat around and tried to eavesdrop for a while to see if we could figure out what the drink was. My new fairy friend had a dagger thrown at him, I was not very happy about that but I let it go to ensure that nobody got into any serious trouble before we figured out where the crest is. I tried to reason with the Dohma, he decided to send his men at us. I got smacked in the ears and it took my hearing. Hopefully not permanently, we did slay the bad guys though.
We went through a teleporter and started fighting some more guys, one with a big horn. We killed them too. And a magical key. I then had to go I sustained too many injuries. That is all I have for now. Goodbye dear friend.
Sapphyre
•
Dearest Wesley,
I have returned from another successful mission and, as expected, I carried the entire expedition upon my perfectly sculpted shoulders.
You left me in charge of watching over the newer guild members, a responsibility I accepted with grace, wisdom, and considerable beauty. Naturally, everyone became rather attached to me during the journey. Eleven days aboard a train is a dangerous thing when one is traveling with a woman blessed by both divine favor and exceptional looks.
Conversations lingered longer than necessary. Smiles appeared whenever I entered a room. More than once I caught someone watching me before they suddenly became fascinated by a wall, a window, or a passing cloud. It was all very flattering.
The handsome bard Julien seemed particularly afflicted. Every evening his voice drifted through the train car like warm honey poured over velvet. Though he never directly confessed the inspiration behind his songs, the frequency with which his gaze found mine during the most romantic verses suggested I was not entirely absent from his thoughts. The poor man was trying very hard to be subtle. I found this adorable.
Others attempted to earn my attention through magic tricks, stories, songs, celestial charms, and Feywild curiosities. By the fourth day songs seemed to follow me wherever I went. By the sixth day I could scarcely sit down without someone attempting to impress me. By the end of the journey I had become reasonably certain that half the train was infatuated with me and the other half was simply trying to hide it.
I cannot entirely blame them.
You entrusted us with investigating the Ivory Crest gang and recovering a stolen family crest connected to their operations. A thousand gold pieces awaited our success, though naturally the opportunity to help others remained my primary motivation.
Thus we departed Springreach and traveled toward Thornmire.
Upon arrival, I immediately sought a new surcoat worthy of a priestess of the Goddess. Tragically, Thornmire offered nothing capable of doing justice to my figure, my station, or my reputation. Several merchants seemed genuinely disappointed when I left empty-handed. Julien, meanwhile, purchased a small bell. I did not ask why. The answer seemed obvious enough.
Eventually we arrived at a tavern called The Hanging Tree. The establishment was crowded, noisy, and thick with the scent of ale, woodsmoke, and bad decisions. Even so, I noticed more than a few eyes turning my way when I entered. Thornmire may be rough around the edges, but its citizens clearly possess excellent taste. There I was presented with a Blooming Onion and a mug of swamp ale. Several patrons watched with obvious interest. Some seemed skeptical. Others appeared hopeful. I suspect a few simply enjoyed the view. Regardless, I conquered the Blooming Onion and swamp ale with all the dignity of a saint and all the determination of a woman unwilling to lose a contest. The applause was immediate. I was rewarded with a free shirt, another drink, and enough admiring looks to sustain an ordinary woman for months. Fortunately, I have developed a tolerance for attention. Unfortunately, diplomacy soon gave way to violence.
A tavern brawl erupted. Chairs splintered. Tankards flew. Men shouted. And through it all I remained remarkably composed. One unfortunate fellow revealed he was married, so I encouraged him to play dead until matters settled. I considered preserving a marriage to be a worthy use of my talents. Meanwhile, Bastion found himself involved in a deeply unfortunate confrontation which ended with him collapsing unconscious after suffering what can only be described as a profoundly unpleasant injury. I shall spare you the details. During the chaos we discovered a hidden portal concealed behind a painting. A beautiful painting, I might add. Though not nearly as beautiful as me.
Beyond the portal lay the true Ivory Crest hideout. My intention had been to negotiate. With my natural charm, wisdom, and gift for persuasion, I remain convinced I could have talked half the gang into surrendering and the other half into questioning their life choices. Sadly, certain members of our group possessed all the subtlety of a charging ox. The entire hideout was alerted almost immediately. There will be discussions about this later. Combat began at once. Naturally, I took the lead. Even while recording observations and directing the operation, I remained at the center of the action. Several times I noticed companions staying remarkably close to me despite the obvious dangers involved. Whether this was due to confidence in my leadership or simple admiration remains difficult to determine. The answer may be both. The fighting carried us through corridors, chambers, and hidden rooms until cries of alarm drew my attention forward. Without hesitation I rushed toward the danger. There we discovered a mimic. To everyone's surprise, the pixie became completely enchanted with the creature. Not frightened. Not cautious. Enchanted. There was actual begging involved. I still do not understand it. Frankly, I blame the Feywild. The battles continued deeper into the hideout. Criminals rushed forward only to find our company ready and waiting. Steel flashed beneath torchlight. Magic illuminated stone corridors. Through it all I maintained the composure expected of a priestess and the confidence expected of a woman who knows exactly how magnificent she is.
After considerable fighting and several displays of my exceptional leadership, we finally confronted the gang's leader. A dangerous man. A stubborn man. A man entirely convinced he knew best. Fortunately, I have extensive experience dealing with such men. Rather than simply defeating him, I chose the wiser path. I spoke of redemption. I spoke of purpose. I spoke of becoming more than the mistakes that had brought him there. Slowly his anger softened. Slowly his certainty cracked. Slowly he began to listen. In the end he accepted the path I offered. Of course, I allowed him to believe the decision had been his own. Men do seem to enjoy that sort of thing. The important thing is that he chose a better path. With the gang dismantled, their operation broken, and our objective secured, the mission was ultimately a success. More importantly, we left behind the possibility that at least one lost soul might become something better than he was before. I know that outcome would please both you and the Goddess. By the mission's conclusion, the gang had been dismantled, a criminal leader had chosen redemption, and at least three separate people had looked at me as though I had personally descended from the heavens to improve their day. I consider that an efficient use of eleven days. When you learn of my success, I am certain you will be pleased. We completed the mission, dismantled the gang, saved lives where possible, recovered valuable information, and brought at least one lost soul back toward the light. All in all, another excellent example of why leaving me in charge is almost always the correct decision. With affection, wisdom, divine radiance, and unmatched beauty,
Sapphyre
Hev'alyn
•Hey! Those train things are fun! Kinda loud and shakey though. after the train ride where we decided to try for a diplomatic resolution. we made our way to first major city I don‘t Remember the name of. I met a lot of interesting people and found out about a ghost ship in the pearl sea. we didn’t spend a lot of time there. bastion knows some pretty scary people and they knew some interesting things about the tavern We were headed to. On arrival, everyone seemed nice, and one guy even played darts with knives. Unfortunately, they were terrible hosts and they had to be killed. We tried reasoning with them multiple times but ultimately many orcs had to die. after a short scuffle we finally convinced the boss to hand over the crest and we succeeded in completing my first adventure! Thanks Wesley!
Amara Pomraw
•There is still so much more of Yharnam to explore within this cursed hunters mind Amara would be traveling into his mind to explore some more. We traveled into his dream and we landed in the area of the great bridge.
This day we were being hounded over and over with enemies, giant dogs, giant bosses, we were able to get lucky and find a chest. Inside of the chest i was able to use my skills to see it was a stone embedded with a rune. This rune allowed someone to steal life from grievous wounds. If you stuck a heavy blow the life essence that would leave from you would be pulled into the attacker and heal them. It was a bit disgusting to be honest, but the magic was quite powerful and effective. It could save a life.
This world was a confusing one. Where ever this old man was his mind was filled with some unexplainable horrors. How did he even end upon our world? Would his world be a world we needed to be wary of? Would something like the monsters SRVA hired adventurers to go kill be a problem with this world too? There was a terrifying boss. Leap and smash. Unrelenting aggression. Massive strength.
It dropped Knick, it dropped Sapphyre, it even knocked me out too. Echo was terrified he could barely move. I was hurt. I was tired. So I did something I never do. I usually go to graze an enemy. I don't kill. I pacify and maim at most. Today was my first kill. I was hurting so bad...I shot the massive creature right in the head. It plopped down lifeless without a word.
We went to the bonfire. We were pulled out of the dream.
Echo Chambers
•We headed back into the high end district of Springreach. Dr. Price told us money is not an issue and we will receive 300 a piece for our efforts. The drow entered in to start the ritual. In a few seconds the comfortable feeling of our chairs slipped away and we once again we travelled into Yharnum.
We awoke on a cobblestone street in front of a lamppost. We followed a chalk sign on the ground stating: To the Great Bridge. We followed some stairs up and I was very quiet. Unfortunately, my team were not. I used my powers to frighten all of our enemies, including Wheely McGunboi. Qualia dropped a massive fireball on them. Sapphyre ran out into the middle of the mess and... fell down. The rest were dispatched quickly.
We went through the streets looking for the chests with earbones. Instead we found beasts. They dashed right through Knicks’ ball bearing like they weren’t there.
Wheely McNumbNuts shot a flamethrower at me. I backflipped out of the way. The room was full of wheeled individuals with firearms. As the bullets passed through my body everything went black. When I awoke I was filled with a rage I only hold for the handicapped.
Stepping outside we were ambushed by two massive figures. One tried to hit me with a great stone club. I shoved it aside, scratching my hand slightly. I punched him repeatedly until he faded away. The other creature charged Qualia completely ignoring me as it ran passed. I kicked it bravely in the back. Sapphyre slid across the ground and sliced off his toes.
We found some chests with runes inside. Qualia is a terrible liar. We split the loot inside and moved north
We were ambushed by a Cleric Beast on the Great Bridge. It was looking grim, but we eventually took it out. It looked relieved.
We went to the lantern to leave. Dr. Price gave each of us 30 platinum, not the 300 gold promised. Yuck.
Echo Chambers
•Wesley received a letter from Thiramin. Nobility in area have familial artifacts that have been absconded with.
The meeting point was the Fox’s Hound. The nobles, the concerned council, are paying for our teleportation there.
The others argued over a woman named Shirley. The bartender delivered some drinks. I was not thirsty, but I ordered a lukewarm tap water to appear normal and fit in.
A group of finer looking people entered the bar and seated themselves. One of them, Jonjon Johnson, said his father was a great public speaker. A quill that he used to write speeches with was stolen. Another woman was missing an engagement ring from her late husband. A man that used to be a battle chef was missing his finest cleaver.
We heard commotion as a group of people came in to hold up the bar. That was their last mistake. Even the one that begged for his life was dispatched.
A tabaxi ran out the door. We gave chase and somehow ended up in the feywild. The tabaxi ran into a library. Inside we found an owl that had used cats to collect various items. We killed the owl, all but one of the cats, and collected quite a few magic items.
The nobles paid our return trip to Springreach.
Amara Pomraw
•Several weeks have passed since the first expedition into the drowned keep. Though the cult inhabiting the ruins was scattered and many of its members slain, the answers sought beneath the flooded halls remained frustratingly out of reach. So a group of us was brought along to give it another go.
Dr. Nabanik returned to the Springreach Adventurers' Guild. He told us he was a researcher who was exploring a ruined castle in the north of Farryn. Due to the work of other guild members they were able to explore the area around the castle but now he needed us to go into it and clear the place out so that they could give it a peek. He would pay us and would let us keep any gold we found inside. We exchanged pleasantries. I met Magpie and told Knick I would finish her dagger soon. Gideon and Echo were nice as usual.
We made our way to the tower quickly and I scoped out some entrances using my familiar Gar. Four total. I had us choose the roof trapdoor since I wasn't in the mood getting wet by going under water. So through the door we went disabling traps and picking locks as we moved and in a large beautiful room we landed in after descending the tower. The fire in the room was green. That was weird. Rotten food. Rotten wine. No reason for the fire. We left to keep exploring.
At some point Magpie and Knick split off from us. Normally this would spell doom, but with my maps keeping track of where everyone is quite simple and I watched them reverse their path and meet us up just in time to fight some ghosts! A swarm of skulls. It came from of the green glowing fire places.
As we explored the castle and made it to the ground floor which was covered in water. As we expected I told Gar to give things a look and to the south outside of the castle we spotted the massive eel. We found a path to the basement which meant we were going underwater and there we found a ton of coffins and a locked door which needed a massive key. A massive key that the last party found and did not give us...which meant we were stuck. That was the case up until Magpie used a spell an with a massive Knock...the door was unlocked and spiritual guardians came out of some statues to defend the area. We slew them, but Magpie had a hunch that our troubles were not over. There were high level ward spells on this door meaning we still could not pass. So we left the door and kept exploring.
We found some new paths that led to a gargantuan room. Treasure as far as the eye can see and a ton of skeletons. So that least us know something was usually or was in here now with us...we found out the hard way when a massive pile of skeletons came to life and began to attack us! We cleared out the place for what we could and headed out!
Echo Chambers
•Dr. Namanik asked us to travel to a place the guild had been before. He said there were a few scholars exploring a ruined castle in northern Farryn. A cult was operating in the neighboring caves and the guild drove them off. He’s explored perimeter, wants us to step inside as adventurers are better at this than scholars in terms of survival. Whatever coins we find in keep are ours.
Magpie afraid of Knicks during our introductions. As she should be.
Dr. Namanik traveled with a large black carriage pulled by six large draft horses. Wherever he was taking us we would make good time. Knicks stayed moist in her barrel. This seemed to bother Magpie as well.
We traveled a few days north. Camped along the way.
We arrived outside the ruins of a partially flooded castle. We were warned about a large eel in the water. The Dr. Noticed it four days ago.
Parkour to the top of the tower. It was pretty impressive. Then Gideon flew up. Less impressive. There was a trap door at the top of the tower. It was not trapped or locked.
Magpie cast Ghost light on Gideon’s hat. He forgot he was our only light source and left us in the dark later when under attack.
Trip wire trap was found by Amara on a second trap door. I helped Gideon to disarm it. I’m a good supervisor.
Down another ladder. We found a sickly green fire in the fireplace of a dining room. Knicks found some thick wine. It looked like this room had been used recently, but they abandoned the spoiled wine and left.
We found a second tower, which we didn’t climb. We found a second fireplace and tiny little ghosties swarmed all over me. Magpie can heal from range. Very effective.
We found a stone staircase heading down. Floor covered in a foot of water. I told Knicks to search the toilets. Apparently this has happened to her before.
We found a huge vault door that Knock wouldn’t open. Two warrior spirits attacked us. Gideon hid around the corner with our only light source. The vault key is the Warden’s key that we found with the dragon cultists.
We found gold in chests inside some twisting tunnels. There was a HUGE room with the floor covered in coins... and bones. I touched a skull and a huge swam of bones attacked. We opened quite a few chests. Some of them really hurt. Me. Just me. I should stop touching things.
Amara Pomraw
•In a manor in Springreach there lies an old man. A retired monster hunter who has fallen into a deep cursed sleep. His family doctor and house mage believe that the problem lay within his mind.
They wish to send the adventurers in to investigate where the old hunter has gone and see if they can bring him back to them. Doctor Pryce believes that his soul has been broken into pieces that need to be reclaimed in the echos of his mind. So they go to a memory of a dangerous and cursed land.
One hero has already fallen within this hunters mind. Will there be others? The job need to be done.
Offering 300 gold pieces per brave soul.
I was one of those souls. This would be the second time a party would be going to deal with this quest. So we went to the...frankly odd place and began to retrace the old path and carve out a new one. We ran into a massive man who we killed and we found some books one being about the "Healing Church of Yarnam". We continued to look around when we made it into a pretty bad area. There were at least of dozen creatures with guns and they clearly were not too keen on us being around. I created a music box to distract them and we took the initiative to start shooting them while they were distracted.
We were being bum rushed! Every single creature who was not in our party began to sprint in our direction. We would need to start killing and start killing fast! Zylrie was dropped on her ass in the middle of combat. My web spell didn't last long. Someone set it on fire as soon as it came up, though it did allow for a massive slowdown as the enemies approached. Tat fight went poorly we took a few down but in the end we retreated.
Echo Chambers
•Doctor Price offered us 250 gold to return.
Doctor Price told us, “We believe that he is lost somewhere inside the greatest accomplishments in his mind. You might have to recreate them. His mind is not a safe place or a gentle one.”
The drow man cast the magic to put us into Lord Jaeger’s mind. He gave us the reminder, “Watch for the lampposts to get out, or we will pull you out if someone dies.”
We awoke in the same abandoned hospital room wearing the same strange clothes. Our healing potions were replaced by bloodvials. I drank some and was told that was weird since it’s obviously an injectable. It tasted like a whiskey shot with a hint of copper.
The moon was very big. Gorgeous. Massive. Red tinged. Watching us...
Tried to take necklace to test if we could take items from this place. My hand passed right through it.
I opened a locked door with Knick’s help. A huge man cleaved through both of us and knocked me senseless. When he was defeated, he faded away to black ashy mist. We found a sawcleaver and books with titles about the Healing Chruch of Yahrnam and a hymn book.
We returned to where Dartan fell and took our revenge on Wheely McRifle and friends. I’d usually say it’s wrong to beat up cripples, but they had it coming. We made a partial retreat to catch our breath, but then approached the second half of the battle much more tactically. Ranged attacks. Hit and run.
We traveled deeper into the city and were attacked by a giant festering pig with putrid breath. We defeated it and the lamppost appeared.
We awoke in our bodies.
Doctor Price gave us two old treasured item of his: A Sawcleaver and a Logarius' Wheel.
Sapphyre
•I arrived at the Adventurer's Guild today, and as usual, the room became noticeably more interesting the moment I entered. Some people might say this is because I was a new recruit. Those people would be wrong. Wesley Mystralath, the guildmaster himself, appeared immediately excited to meet me. He seemed nervous, protective, and strangely concerned that I had actually read the 10-99 contract. Many would interpret this as administrative surprise. I interpreted it correctly: admiration. Before our journey began, I distributed lavender flowers and homemade cookies to everyone. The effects were immediate. Spirits lifted. Smiles appeared. Hope returned to weary faces. I have long suspected that kindness is one of the Goddess's greatest gifts, though being beautiful certainly doesn't hurt.
It was there that I met my companions. First was Gideon, an undead gambler searching for the mysterious drow who murdered him. He attempted to hide his fascination with me by talking almost exclusively about revenge and death. Men often do this when overwhelmed by their feelings. Then there was Echo, a shapeshifter capable of becoming anyone, yet for some reason they spent the entire day watching me. Curious. Very curious. Finally there was Knicks, a criminal fish person who once scammed Wesley's mother and is currently on work release. Despite being a hardened criminal, they immediately seemed interested in my opinions, my safety, and my snacks. Thus began our adventure.
Wesley informed us of a secret mission and directed us toward the Dancing Dragon Inn, where we were to meet a mysterious contact. Naturally, I accepted with grace and courage. Along the way I prepared lunch for everyone. The meal was universally adored, though some attempted to conceal their appreciation. I noticed. I always notice. Knicks required an entire barrel of water and a rented carriage because fish people apparently dry out if left unattended. This was my first indication that adventuring might be stranger than I originally anticipated.
By the time we arrived at the inn it was quite late. Echo transformed into a bustling older woman in an effort to command more respect. Personally, I find being myself has always been sufficient. The bartender welcomed us warmly. Echo ordered ale. Gideon ordered whiskey. I ordered the local whiskey because I wished to experience the culture. Unfortunately, it tasted like a horse had kicked a burning tree into a barrel. I immediately handed it to Gideon, who accepted without complaint. Another clear sign of devotion. The bartender then prepared me a ham and cheese sandwich despite the late hour. He prepared nothing for Gideon. I did not wish to jump to conclusions, but the evidence was accumulating rapidly.
As we enjoyed our meal, a mysterious masked woman approached our table. She asked if we were from the guild, though I suspect she already knew. She explained that a faction known as the Emerald Order had stolen a precious relic called the Rokma Stone many years ago. The Emerald Order, we learned, was a dragon cult made up of mages who once worked alongside her people before betraying them and stealing the stone. The relic itself was a massive gray gemstone roughly six inches across. Ancient. Powerful. Valuable. Almost as important as me. Almost. While discussing strategy, everyone kept looking in my direction. Some might argue they were simply speaking to the group. I know better.
Echo suggested infiltration. Knicks suggested getting cultists naked. I decided not to ask follow-up questions because I am a paladin and sometimes ignorance is a gift from the Goddess.
We reached the cult's hideout after nightfall and immediately discovered human bones scattered near the entrance. This felt like a poor sign. Everyone attempted to sneak into the compound. Everyone succeeded. I rolled terribly. I have concluded this was the Goddess ensuring the others would not become overconfident. Inside we discovered a strange scroll written in Draconic. Knicks translated it while simultaneously discussing their lifelong dream of scamming a dragon and stealing its hoard. Again, I was reminded why they are on work release.
As we explored, everyone seemed drawn toward stealing things. Echo found crates full of apples and supplies. Someone discovered gold. I found a fountain and tossed a copper coin into it, making a wish. Knicks immediately stole the coin. At first I was upset. Then I realized they probably wanted a keepsake. Echo later discovered jars full of herbs, spices, powders, teas, and ingredients. I took them for safekeeping because feeding people is a sacred responsibility and because I plan to become an excellent cook.
Eventually Echo opened a creaky door and accidentally woke several cultists. Somehow they convinced the cultists we were simply lost travelers. This worked far better than it should have. The cultists seemed warm, happy, fed, clothed, and oddly content. For a brief moment I wondered if we had accidentally infiltrated a pleasant community center. Then everything immediately went wrong.
Combat erupted. Echo struck one cultist so hard that he became stunned. Knicks promptly stabbed the same man in the neck. Once again, I understood why they are on work release. We acquired cult robes and continued deeper into the complex. Along the way we encountered a cultist named Liam. Rather than killing him, I convinced everyone to spare his life and suggested he consider joining the Adventurer's Guild. I believe in redemption. Also, people have a difficult time refusing me when I am being inspirational.
Later we encountered a locked door. Three thieves attempted to open it. They struggled. They debated. They investigated. They failed. I removed my crowbar and obliterated the obstacle in moments. The resulting silence from the group was deeply satisfying. Knicks informed me that "old people have good locks," a statement that somehow raised more questions than it answered.
Eventually we reached the Temple of Five Dragons. Five enormous dragon busts surrounded a courtyard of sacred altars. Four altars were lit while the fifth remained dark. We lit the final altar, expecting something dramatic to happen. Nothing did. This was disappointing. Beneath one altar we discovered a gauntlet. Knicks immediately grabbed it and nearly died. Echo saved them with a potion. Beneath another altar I discovered a beautiful beaded necklace adorned with a dragon-head pendant. Echo immediately stopped me from touching it, claiming it might be trapped. Their concern for my safety grows increasingly difficult to ignore.
More battles followed. More cultists fell. More suspicious relics were discovered. Thanks to my angelic nature, I endured radiant energies that would have harmed lesser heroes. Eventually we found a large key hidden beneath the final altar. The key unlocked the ancient tomb we had been searching for all along—the resting place of the stolen Rokma Stone.
Thus concludes the first chapter of my adventure. Today I learned many valuable lessons. First, everyone loves cookies. Second, criminal fish people cannot be trusted around wishing wells. Third, whiskey is disgusting. Fourth, crowbars are divine instruments. Fifth, cultists are surprisingly easy to confuse. Sixth, if multiple people spend an entire day protecting you, worrying about you, accepting flowers from you, complimenting your cooking, and following you through dangerous ruins, they are probably in love with you. I shall continue gathering evidence. Strictly for scientific purposes, of course.
Echo Chambers
•Wesley received a vague letter. It said to head to the Dancing Dragon Inn. Meet “L”. They are having concerns. Discretion is advised is the best way to put it. They believe they—and other members of their organization—are in danger. Meet them at the inn, and they will approach us.
Wesley seemed concerned that Sapphyre actually read her 1099. Knick said she never got one, and Wesley was trying to kill her.
Even the brand-new girl new that Knick has tried to rip off Wesley’s grandmother. Knick’s response was, “She shouldn’t have signed it.”
We were told that the small inn is between Springreach and Willowcreek. A single building with a faded sign that might be tough to spot. We found it and most of us headed to the bar to order drinks. Knick wandered the bar eating off tables like a savage. The bartender didn’t seem to mind as long as she didn’t drop anything on the floor as he had just mopped. Knick asked if she could drink the alcohol on the floor and clarified that she meant was still in the bottle. Not literally on the floor, “That’s gross. I take showers.”
Knick asked the bartender if he knew how to make a shark bite? I thought it was a joke with a bad punch line like, “Poke it with a stick.” No. Apparently it’s a drink.
A masked WOMAN joined us and Knick started off with a good impression, “Hello, Sir.” She corrected Knick with a very cold, “It’s madam."
She explained that something had been stolen from the order she belongs to. She and her sisters would like our assistance in retrieving it.
Knick kept saying something about being loose to the client who seemed confused as I was. Sapphyre said that Knick was loose like a hot dog down a hallway. It was later clarified that Knick has little understanding of what loose means on the surface and that she refers to her genitals as a seabed. She’s also a racist that calls us all landwalkers.
ANYWAY... The thieves are a group known as the Emerald Order. The madam said she would be polite and not say they are a dragon cult. That absolutely sounds like a call out. They are an order of mages. The groups used to have an alliance and work together. Because of a rift that happened long ago, they chose to steal the Rakma stone—an item of historic importance to her order. Their order would be the only other ones to know that it was something worth stealing. They have a headquarters in the Golden Gorge.
The Rakma stone is a large gray gemstone about 6 inches in diameter.
The Emerald Order wear emerald green robes. “One on one I’ll get them out of their clothes.” Knick clarified, “With my words to be clear.” First part of their complex is where new initiates stay. Deeper in is where you’ll find senior members. There is a central courtyard next to the chapel. She believes it would be in either the courtyard or chapel.
We are to return to the Inn with the stone.
As always, Knick told the newcomer, “If you notice anything, don’t tell Wesley.”
When we arrived we could see humanoid bones. We could tell because of the ears. We snuck through the halls finding more bones. We found a scroll in draconic. “Dragons are the best to scam. They’ve got the best money,” said you know who. The scroll read, “This is the hall of the Five dragons. Blessings to all that enter here.”
We broke into some crates and found apples and 9 gold.
Sapphyre tossed a coin in a fountain and made a wish. Knick took it and they argued about lost wishes.
We met an initiate named Liam. He keeps the rooms clean and is in the cooking rotation. He’s only been here about a week. He told us to talk to Brother Nableth to get settled in, but he’s not here now. He thought we might be a few days early. Mab and a few other brothers went out a few days ago. Not sure exactly what, but it was something about an archeological find.
Gideon asked him about a locked door and was told it was to a supply room. Most of the dry goods and potion ingredients. Liam ran off to grab the key from the kitchen. On our explorations we ran into another brother. I was wearing Liam’s face. That was a mistake as he had just spoken to the real Liam. We had to kill the man. Real Liam stripped to his underwear and ran away.
Found a pipe of smoke monsters, 400 gold, acid trap on gold chest, and a large key.
We snuck past a group of men and into the chapel and courtyard. There were dragon headed statues mounted over lighted brasiers. They did not give off heat, but they sure did give off radiant damage! There we artifacts underneath all of them to Sir George the Warden last of the dragon knights.
I sat in on a meeting that was a recruitment scheme thinly veiled as youth outreach.
We spent forever trying to figure out what the last item would be to light the last dragon statue. It was the key the whole time!
Echo Chambers
•Wesley said we were to seek out a physician named Doctor Price. She wants help with a patient. Wesley was told to send a party of brave adventurers with the promise of a 250 gold reward for each. He is trusting this is not nefarious. We were told to go meet with her and help as best we could.
Wesley: “Go make me proud, or at least not ashamed.”
Knick: “What do you expect?” Said Knick.
Wesley: “I expect the bare minimum, Knick”
Knick: “Scams the game. Knick’s the name.”
We went to a very nice area of Springreach. There were large houses wiht long gated driveways. The gate of our address had a J on it. We were greeted by a well-dressed human man, and escorted through the house filled with gothic Decor. There were paintings on the wall that were somber. A little off.
Doctor Price told us that a comatose man—Lord Jagere—had been under care for some time. She’s been the family’s physician for 20 years. He has undergone a sleep that she can’t treat with medicine. She believes that his mind has gone somewhere else.
We were asked to go inside of his mind and find where he has gone. She believes the malady that effects him is a curse not a sickness. Part of him has become lost. More arcane friends of the family with discretion say he has lost himself somewhere in his past. He used to hunt monsters.
A drow came quietly into the room behind us. Short, about 5’4”, and wearing nice robes. He had leather bound tome with a buckle. He took the hand of the lord and squeezed it affectionately. Zoron Dra'Giir was his name. He has some magic that will transport our souls into Lord Jagere. A soul severed in any place can pass on. We will be vulnerable. We have a way to come out. He didn’t think this can be accomplished in one visit and doesn’t entirely know what we are facing.
We were to find the pieces that have gone missing and bring them back. Look for a sign. There will be opportunities to come back, but we can only do this once a week. We were to watch the lampposts glowing sickly pale light. They would look out of place.
He began to prepare the ritual and told us it would be 20 minutes. Set up all around the room were candles. Lit incense that made our heads swim a bit. He began a soft chanting in a language: low guttural grinding unpleasant. The darkness became tangible. I could feel warmth and my eyes shut. My senses faded.
We awoke in beds inside of a room that was old run down victorian. No fire in the fireplace. There was a lamp that sprouted out of the middle of the floor of the room. Ghostly light with dancing pale flame. Felt like a makeshift hospital room that was abandoned. There was a book on a desk that talked about blood diseases. We were wearing different clothes.
Knick and Piprim weren’t getting along. There were insults:
“Piprim, You’ve got the face of someone that’s bald,”
“Scammer.”
“Farmboy.”
Then Melania jumped in with “What’s updog?”to shame Piprim further.
I found medical books and religious texts. References to the blood church and healing church and Yharnam. None of this meant anything to me.
Piprim opened a door and there was the sound of tearing flesh. I could see humanoid wolf men tearing into corpses. There was a yellow flash when the light hit their eyes. When killed they melted into a weird ashen substance.
I attempted to talk to a man men and wolf creatures attacked in a mob.
Dartan banged his sword and shield together. Dozens of monsters swarmed us. He died for making that decision. We were immediately pulled out of Jager’s mind.
We explained what we had seen. Doctor Price said, “He went back to Yharnam reinvestigating the Blood Church? Perhaps the pieces lie with his greatest accomplishments. We need to know what happened. We need to find him.”
We were paid 300 gold. Could 50 extra gold compensate us for a lost comrade? When he was a bad person and my nemesis? Yes. I resisted the urge to spit on his corpse.
Doctor Price said they will summon us when they have the magic available again in a week, and that we shouldn’t talk to anyone about what is happening here. Lord Jaeger has many enemies.
Amara Pomraw
•The guild received a missive from a small village toward the south east from Springreach. They had parties going missing and they contacted us for some assistance on the matter. So we decided to take the train to see what was going on.
We spent a long time walking through the forest trying to find the village. When we had bedded down for the night we were attacked by some large oak ogres! They somehow got the drop on us! By the time we noticed them we were not in a optimal position to defend ourselves. but we mounted a defense! I was able to mark one with the glitter having it glow and sparkle in the darkness I know at least one of us couldn't see in the dark so it helped. These things could put up some sort of leafy shadow defense they seemed to negate any and all damage so we had to hit them with fire and they absolutely hated that. They were doing a lot of damage though one blow from them was worth maybe three blows from one of us. I was able to command one of them to grovel and the other died before the magic took effect. Though with all of us attacking the last one it was a short fight from there.
Echo got us lost in a cave but I was able to recognize some Raging Henbane mushrooms; the jet black mushroom has a tough, bark-like skin. Eating it would make your skin a similar texture and helped stave off attacks, but it made one aggressive. it was a good find, btu we decided to leave the cave be and do the job we were assigned to do. So we made it to the town!
It looked devastated in the town and it was quiet as all the silence in the world. We found one very sad man. He said most of the down was dead or gone. That the remaining folks were thinking of abandoning this place by the end of the week. Still they wanted us to see if we could find anything for closure. Food stores were low. So we needed to act fast.
We had to go at night. Whatever was causing issues we were told only did its bidding at night. It was dark and humid. The woods were unnaturally silent. We did find what we were looking for though...the Wendigo. A massive quadraped creature. We took some time to kill it and we gave the townsfolk their closure.
Echo Chambers
•Keplan is southeast of Hfar in the great forest, south of the Pinecrest Mountains. They have been reporting seasoned hunters not returning. Search parties coming up empty handed.
We took the train to Hfar. Knick rode in a barrel to keep moist. What a gross word.
We arrived at some standing stones in the woods. There was a serpent or dragon on the stones that Gideon said was named Guantánamo. Probably. Melaina said absolutely not. This was some pagan heretical bullshit. Someone clearly comes by here to maintain this place, but we found no reason to linger.
Qualia and Melaina got into it. Melaina said that she was not going to deny someone their choices and their freedom. Nine times out of ten it’s the mainstream religions that are “right.”
The subject turned to Dartan. Always Dartan. There is not enough shoes in the world to shame him enough. They suggested I throw shoes that were heavier, or spiked. I’m trying to hurt his pride, but his pride is dead according to Melaina.
We camped and took watches. Knick was not allowed. They cannot be trusted. I stood on their barrel as I took the first watch. I did not notice as the oak trolls started to close in. They only took fire damage when they were shrouded, which was most of the time. We looked rough when the fight was over.
I got us extremely lost and few found a cave. This is not the town we’re looking for, but how could we resist? There was mushrooms. Amara identified one of them as raging henbane. Knick will paint hers blue and sell it to old people. They like blue caps for when they get Frisky.
We made it to Keplan. I changed into my female form and they nicknamed me Shits and Giggles and threatened to tickle me. Melaina is into some strange things I want no part of.
We spoke to Alexi, a man with two peglegs. Melania told him to avoid beaches. He said there isn’t many of them left. Only five. The last search party didn’t return. They are considering leaving at the end of the week. The search party followed the hunters out the other side of town into the black forest. There are unholy sounds that come from the forest at night. Some sort of accursed creature. Similar to a moose in heat. He thinks that is what has been taking the villagers. Typically a group of 5 would go into the woods for five to six days and come back with a beast. Food stores are getting low.
Melania asked if he could provide anything to assist us in our journey. Alexi offered pie. Everyone perked up. Then he said it was bear pie. What’s the opposite of perking up? Perking down? No, that doesn’t make sense. Regardless, Melaina told him Bear have a lot of parasites and are not good to eat. He said its not too bad with berry compote.
We headed into the woods as it was getting dark. We set up camp and made a big fire to attract the beast. It was a Wendigo. We killed it, but it had effected Melaina’s memory. Knick tried repeatedly to swindle her.
Knick said, “I didn’t know she was Wesley’s grandmother.” It was some sort of brilliant bank scheme. Another bad person. Can a person have more than one nemesis? I will think on this.
Edwyna Faelar
•
We had been hired by the Sun Stags company to investigate an aphid glade in Tibasa. The harvesters there had recently been attacked by strange bugs is what we were told.
When we arrived, we investigated the Sun Stags camp to learn some more information about what was going on. Apparently, this company was using pig-sized aphids to eat the nectar off of the dangerous Festersap Laceleaf, which is very protective. The harvesters would then milk these large bugs of the substance they created, the end product being called Honeydew. This is some sort of stimulant that seems highly addictive-- one of the workers who survived the recent attack was suffering from clear withdrawals of the Honeydew because he no longer received his daily rations from the company while he was injured in the hospital tent. It was only due to Gary's magical staff that we were able to purge the addiction from the poor soul, putting him into a coma but saving his life.
We moved forward onto the glade, finding some bug ranchers there that immediately attacked us, as well as the Laceleaf Mantid Harlequin. The Formicians were fairly quickly dispatched, but the Mantid was able to blend in and mimic the appearance of the Festersap Laceleaf all around us, making it difficult to discern its location. Eventually, I was able to locate the monster and teleport it in front of Bram and Mimic, who put the poor thing out of its misery.
We returned to the camp with most of the Aphids safely recovered, however I realized that we may in fact have been on the wrong side of this fight. In hindsight, we shouldn't have trusted the company that was exploiting workers, not paying their salaries while injured on the job, and giving them addicitive stimulants to be more productive at their job. The Sun Stags went on to fully destabilize the Tibasan ecosystem in the area, which the Mantid was maintaining. They overharvested the Festersap for excess Honeydew, then flooded the market with this drug, causing increased addicition all across Vianova.
New goal: destabilize Sun Stags and destroy the company.
Echo Chambers
•There was a letter aggressively nailed to the door. Written in the tiniest font possible is a note that roughly read “Hello, fellow humans, it is I, Tax Evasion. I have fallen for classic human trap and now need human help.”
Gideon and Dartan think this is a trap set up by a rat. They recently the went on a mission where people were controlled by rats pulling on parts of your hair. There was a rat king amalgamation of rats all smushed together. Fork Lift was the controller of Harrision who originally wrote to the guild. The rats are fine as long as you play along. We need to liberate the people with red hats.
We found out that a drow fella with white coffin tattoo on the back of his hand repeatedly stabbed Gideon one hundred and two years ago. He “woke up” about two years ago.
We are going to the town that is a 3 day walk away. You know the one. It was decided to take a carriage instead and I was peer pressured into paying for one of the days. Gideon taught Piprim how to play cards.
We went to the fancy cheese side of town, so I put on my nice suit. This side of town is run by Archibald and he has something in the basement we need to get to.
We should knock the hats off and attack the rats underneath. There is no need to hurt the people who are likely to attack us. Piprim talked to a woman named Cheesecake Factory and they moved like a marionette. They were very interested in cheese. She asked if we were here for the festivities.
Allergic Reaction has cheese wine. We should speak to him. No one wanted cheese wine. Instead we spoke with Mild Concussion who directed us to Unpaid Parking Ticket to get some shredded cheese to lift our spirits.
Bikaji said something unpleasant followed by, “All my thoughts are thoughts are outside thoughts.”
Piprim make an error in judgement and mentioned the name Roof Tile. There was no rat by that name. They asked is he had meant Moldy Spores.
Divorce papers is selling cheese hats. The rats play sports like any of the normal humans do. Full contact football with a tongue of a cow. Shirts and skins. When you get hit with the tongue it makes a slap sound and everyone in the crowd go “OOOOOOO I bet that hurt.”
Gideon called out that he was going to do a card trick. The crowd was concerned about Satanism, but Gideon brushed that off by saying he was an illusionist. Not a magician. Bikaji used the opportunity to case a spell that killed13 rats at once. The people beneath were knocked unconscious.
I asked why Dartan acts the way he does when he got plenty of hugs as a child. He said, “My mother was an embodiment, she didn’t have a physical form.” I trust Melaina more than my nemesis, but we had bigger problems to solve than arguing about it.
We went to Archibald’s house and talked our way in with me posing as Egg the rat. He spilled the beans and told us that familiars get blamed for the cost of being conjured back after being sacrificed. Archibald was very upset when he realized he’d be bamboozled. He’d had names all picked out for the party: Cigarette Wizard, Gravy Knife, Meat Lantern, Bonesaw, and Rust Bucket.
Archibald elaborated that the rat king takes care of them regularly and provided him with all the rats. His true name is Marshall. He doesn’t have a moral compass. He’s a rat. It was fabled that he is the collective of what happens to all familiar rats when they die over and over. An amalgamation. His manifestation has turned him into the rat king. The rats are caring for him, rebuilding him, and got him a gun. I punched the rat off his head. Dead.
In the basement another rat suggested I drill a hole through my eye socket and stick the tail inside to direct wire into the brain. I found lots of coffins and bodies in different states of decay that have been discarded.
Gideon warned us Marshall has a breath weapon. I bravely repositioned to get out of the breath. I heard Piprim say, “First you beat kids, then you beat meat. Come on!” I’m glad I left the room.
Gideon took Marshall down with a card. From its corpse one single tiny magical rat. It was a plushy that Gideon put on his shoulder.
Echo Chambers
•Wesley told us that we need to go to a village near Mount Vidal. Strange “children” are running around and harrassing people. Things are getting set on fire. There is lava popping up. They are said to stand like they are trying to poop their pants. Real children yearn for the mines. These are not children. They are offering each of us 200 gold pieces to resolve the issue.
Wesley gave us keys to the boat. Knick isn’t allowed to drive due to a grand theft auto incident where they crashed one boat. Or several. This was unclear. However, it was clarified that no one should put wheels on a boat and then run people over. Knick thought it sounded like a good idea after 4 rums. Gideon told her she drinks wrong. Whiskey all the way. She says it’s too bitter.
The scam started immediately after arriving. Knick wanted to know about pay for the travel that was promised. Nonsense. Gideon told me not to snitch. The woman that she was trying to extort let us know that Zebidiah from the philosophy club at community college joined the military and was overseas, but he’s back in town.
I went to speak with Zebidiah and he was a wealth of information. So much so that we decided to ignore the rest of the village.
He told us that the creatures come in the morning. Arrows and greatswords phase through them. They have the weird stance that toddlers make when they are pooping. They can definitely set stuff on fire. They are medium-sized. For sure. They wear suspenders and diapers. Only have three toes. This is on each foot, not total. When they come, they set things on fire, take food, and leave. He thinks they are coming from just right down the road. There is a cave with a lot of lava in it. The lava is new since they showed up.
He also filled us in that Matilda is distraught because one of them took her barrel of pomegrante wine. She had to import them! She did not want mead and refused to add honey per Zebidiah’s suggestion.
We should head north past the second sign that says This Way. Ignore the first sign that says This Way. It leads the wrong way. In their village everyone works and gets the benefit, but no one wants to work.
Zebidiah business is rebuilding vintage chariots. Every once in a while people in their later years in life stop on in. Generally they are wearing leather jackets. He advertises his services on the little blue pills from the pharmacy. His last name is Johnson, and the pharmacist he bribes is also named Johnson. What a side hustle!
Knick tried to scheme with me acting as Wesley. Absolutely not.
Incontinent clown came out of the lava and went back in. I threw a rock in the lava and 8 mephits came out. I dug deep and pulled out a nightmare shroud of pure fear. 6 of them dropped on the spot.
We went deeper in to the cave and found 4 diaper babies and three tar dinosaur elementals. I very quickly ran around unleashing fear on all of them.
The bad person still has a fixation of harming children. He swung his metal weapons at the diaper babies repeatedly after being told it wouldn’t work. Even after seeing it with his own two eyes he continued to try. He eventually wised up and punched one to death. Then continued to punch it. What a monster.
Knick looked very crusty. Qualia turned her into a misty cloud, and invited her into her water skin.
We found fireweaver gloves on one of the diaper babies. I kept them.
Qualia had party invitations and candles that didn’t match. She may in fact be a child.
Calliope
•We needed to go and pick up some kind of item for someone. This was one of those things I got asked to do a lot. People needed items and I was a good meat shield and even provided magical assistance. So I decided what the hell. It couldn't have been that bad right? Garry was weird but he wasn't harmful. He greeted us warmly. Although he looked pretty bad and was wearing a tin foil hat. He rambled about "Moon whispers". We needed to go to a temple and raid it. Well he said "raid it" but as we protested he turned it into "talking".
At one of the temples we ran into a very nice man. Garry yaped and yaped. Then we went to some other place and there was more yapping. I was here only as a favor to garry and this deep religion just wasn't for me. I loved the primordials not the gods.
At some point we ran into a weird water creature, Yuuna, who said this place would not be safe for Selunes followes tonight. She then said if we could make it safe she would help us.
We decided to help!
The yard was raided by a slew of beasts that grew in size and danger as their formers fell. We must have killed over a dozen monstrosities.
We got him his moon sickle
Echo Chambers
•Gary was pacing around the Salty Siren. “Thank you for coming to my pack meeting.” He was wearing a tinfoil hat and was all twitchy. He wanted us to raid a temple. That was a hard no from everyone. “The hat keeps whispering violence.” Penny and Kobal helped to find a temple where a moon sickle was located. Pack contribution reward system was offered.
We get to the twin moon temples that only appear at night. We need to get there before the eclipse that happens tonight. Not too far from Springreach. Need to get both temples to agree that Gary can have the moon sickle. They are at odds with each other.
Blathnat told me that she dog walked Dartan his first day at the guild. Slapped kid had to pull doubles because he was four hours late for his shift.
There are two temples. One honors Solalara the watcher. The other honors Theros the veiled one. We went to the smaller temple first. Theros.
The Theros temple had been there for centuries. It was still standing, although in a state of disrepair. We met a man outside. He told Gary, who was in wolf form, that he was a good boy. Gary for some reason continued to act like a dog. Brother Clarance said that Gary can consider him the pack leader for now... Gary told him that he came for the moon sickle. “You seek Yuna’s artifact. Why do you seek this out?” He kept muttering about how this was auspicious. Gary said because he was an alpha leader and he needs to protect his pack. He can’t lose anyone else. “What’s the application process?” Gary said with a puppy dog look. We were told, “When you get to Solara tell them that brother Clarance has given you his blessing.”
Gary seemed more disturbed when he spoke of Kobal. All I got out of the story was that he was dead.
The temple of Solara was a much grander building. Solara is the larger moon and is brighter in the night sky then Theros, so this did make some sense. Gary knocked at the door and there was no answer. He knocked again and we heard, “I’m coming! I’m coming! So many stairs.” A small gnome greeted us. She also said auspicious. Odd. Selune is the goddess of the moon Solara. Despite it not being visible in the sky for a moment it will be illuminated. One of her more recent champions met there end in a dark place. Put aside first impressions. I advised him to stop talking an nod more when the woman looked irritated. If the moon goddess does wish you to be her new champion you might find the answers you seek within the moon grove at the bottom of the ravine. She says Clarance is an idiot. All he talks about is the wrong moon and personal finances. “How do we get our champion champiafied?” Bram asked. She pointed at the very obvious ravine.
Gary once again tried to involve me with his financial advice. I pretended not to hear him comments about investing and 401Ks. That's grooming behavior.
Gary guided us deep within the ravine. Gary called Bram and Omega which confused Bram greatly. Gary said “Something is screaming at me that this is the right location.” He licked a pool of water. A water spirit named Yuna— at least that was her name in life—asked who he was and why he was here. Gary once again said he needed to be stronger to protect his pack. “Many have fallen, and many more surely will, but if you seek the weapon Selune bestowed upon me in life. After the eclipse the grove will not be safe for her worshipers.” If we can make it safe again, since some of the creatures may be irritable. She directed us to a good place to draw the attention of the creatures.
The eclipse happened. It created a crimson horn-like shape. Gary hurried us along to a point where made a very loud noise to draw things in. Wave after wave of horrible creatures attacked.
When we returned to Yuna’s pool we found Gary’s moon sickle waiting for him. Gary is Selune’s new champion. He left tinfoil hat at the edge of the pool.
Echo Chambers
•“We all might die, but that is where a family heirloom of mine is,” was the introduction Bikaji gave us to this mission of hers. Vignetto was our destination.
Plan to get there teleport to Avistan and then get to the border. Crossing the border is a bad idea, but that is a later problem. The land is tainted there and ripe with all sorts of horrid abominations that will stand in the way of our goals. We should ask the church of Pellor for aid as they are enemies.
The crown might be a little bit on the evil side. This doesn’t leave the table. They spoke a lot of a monster named Dartan who harmed children. Gary invited me to join a school about betas, alphas, and financial management. I politely declined.
We teleported to Avistan and were greeted by well armored men. Captain Halsin, a member of the church guard, greeted us. They asked a few questions. Piprim insisted he was a gnome and they were highly offended by the goliath’s dishonesty. Bikaji explained that a feywild heirloom ended up in Vignetto. They stiffened, but listened to her story. They agreed that if we could take any power out Vignetto they supported the cause.
We traveled from Solaria to New Sule via carriage. The border of Oscara had a mist at the edge that did not move. It is said that it’s cursed by the Duke to keep Avistan out. Edwina noticed pockets of land where green bubbling liquid sizzled and bubbled. This seems to be where the bad air was coming from. It was everywhere.
The crown was stolen from the Duke long ago by an agent of Avistan that fell and no one really knows what happened to them. Edwina and Bikaji tried to figure out the path they may have taken. Some of the gas began to drift closer. There were lights inside. A whip of smoke came toward Blathnat. We were surrounded by them. Blathnat, Edwina, and Gary were sucked into one. We destoyed them and moved father into that cursed land.
Fungal slime has grown over the corpses of some knights of Pelor. We threw rocks at them for a while. Unsuccessful. Really a sad showing of strength. Piprim approached and there was a puff of spores they began to stand. We destroyed them and took all their valuables. They had a journal that sent out 75 years ago searching for the burial place of a fallen saint.
We found a gigantic winged skeleton in celestial armor. The crown was in its chest cavity. Bikaji went to retrieve it and a creature arose. It seemed to have an argument with itself. It looked relieved when we killed it.
We returned to Avistan with information and the belongings of the fallen paladins. We were rewarded for our efforts.
Echo Chambers
•I was directed to the Adventurer’s Guild in my search for Be’bop. A red-haired woman named Penny directed me to a meeting room where two adventurer’s were meeting with the head of the guild, Wesley. The two woman were named Qualia and Blathnat and both were accompanied by birds. I was told that Be’bop has opened a business called The Cog. Since I required employment I agreed to accompany these ladies to Rikevist.
We arrived in a town with a marshy, earthy aroma. There was also a smoke in the air. They apparently made bricks there. The man that owned the brickyard, Giani, who requested the guild’s assistance finding missing employees. He was very dirty and appeared to also work amongst his employees. Some have them have been missing a few days, some a few weeks. His business is falling farther and farther behind and losing money. “Some people just want to see the world burn,” was his reason why. Someone at one of the pubs must be trying to lure them off into the swamp according to witnesses. They head north. He has not seen any unusual people in town, but the owner of the pub might. Giani knows most of the townsfolk and employees three quarters of them. Someone may have found clay out in the swamp. It’s not hard to make bricks.
We went to the pub. A dragonborn man was working there. His name was Garm. There is an old ruined monastery three days north. He thinks someone has been luring them there. He refuses to tell us who he thinks it is. He wants to keep his reputation in case he is wrong. He offered us moss sandwiches. I said, “Ugh” under my breath. He misheard and said, “No it’s not Mmmm, but it is nutritious.” The sandwiches had a thick slimey moss you find on trees. The texture was awful. The dark bread full of seeds was also unpleasant. I ate it to be polite but also because I require sustenance to survive. The chickens went missing recently. Maybe it’s goblins. There are a lot of those in the swamp.
Garm directed us to a merchant at the dock yard. I purchased clothes for traveling through the swamp.
We were attacked in the swamp by a corrupting ooze and 3 bagiennik. After defeating them we rested.
In the morning we traveled to the monastery. It was crumbling and returning to nature. There was nothing in the ruined houses but bugs. We were attacked by skeletons. Inside there were more skeletons and a potato wearing an opal bra and pink miniskirt that Blathnat was very interested in. One of them was very large. It was comprised of multiple skeletons. We found nothing of interest except some renovation plans for the monastery. Outside we found a statue of Lathander showing off his nipples.
We returned to Giani with the plans. He said he would like to keep them even though he has no plans of restoring it. There are a lot of bricks there. Blathnat said something about unions, but I had already mentally moved on.
Amara Pomraw
•The Demonological Paradox two the demonic boogalooo
I am not sure who keep naming these quest posts. They certainly are...creative.
I got the spill. Abominations. Skin walkers. Disgusting monsters. Skin people. Everything was bad...I tried to leave and Bram did his damnest to keep me there. He said we could survive if I went...I wasn't too sure. We had gone to go shopping and somehow in all of that we got into a fight with a child and well, allgedly, someone spanked him unconscious. Piprim was getting roasted left and right by kids. I was still worried about our quest though.
We made it to some farmland and there they had effigies to something...a bad sign. They were destroyed by the last party; now they were here again. People were here. I had Gar go in and check the place out. It was empty. Someone came in and did the effigies. They ten left and fled into the woods.
This path brought us deep into the forest to more effigies and to a fork in the road. One direction we would find hags. The opposite something else that wasn't what we were hired for. So we went towards the hags. Dartan tried to sneak over and set the house on fire. In his armor he was less than stealthy.
They had come outside threatened us and combat started. They were epically powerful casters. Insect swarms and hold persons. They had these half hourse half human creatures along side them. It was disgusting and the attacks were relentless. The three hags were crafty and their minions were strong. Without Edwyna Piprim would be dead. Without me healing Dartan might have gone the same way.
I managed to back off a good ways, out of the bugs, away from the human centipede, away from the hags. From there I was able to stabilize us. A good farie fire. Some damage, Some healing. My best work happens when I am able to think. I don't do well under pressure. When given time to think I can make miracles happen. Sadly in the battle Dartan got a nasty bleed but we stemmed it.
Amara Pomraw
•So we had gone out to the beach for a celebration. Bláthna, Edwyna, Be'bop and I planned to hit the beach. The entire time Tassi kept making comments about me dying. I kept questioning her on it but she would not elaborate. It was just a normal beach trip. She handed me a potion of healing. It was a kind gesture at least. We got some supplies, but no food. Bláthna's familiar was a bottomless pit that could not resist food.
Once at the beautiful beach we sat down got sorted. Tassi...smoked. Then she stripped and ran into the water along with a naked Bláthna. Edwyna and I were on the beach lounging when a massive chicken rose up and out of the water then yelled and everything went black....when we woke up were in in "Cluckhallah". We had died...I can't be dead I needed to go to work! I began to panic, but we were in limbo! Not quite Cluckhalla yet. That was what our spirit guide had told us. We were told that no one had left before but I didn't care. They have said that about all technology. I would find a way.
At the gate of Cluckhalla we were told we would shape into chickens. Our limbs would blow off and we would turn into eggs. Devin let us know all of this and reminded us that it rains corn on Fridays. Devin was a sea serpent before this life.
We spoke with the Oracle to see if there was a way to leave. It challenged me intellectually..."What could I be doing that was more important than corn on a Friday?" I created a random block and tackle....which was not for fishing but I managed to make it work and bring up a fish from the water we were standing over. That impressed him and he let it go. The oracle let us know at the top of the tree. Very far away and atop a few thousand steps was a potal back home. So we decided to take the trip.
It was so many stairs. As we climbed the steps we were attacked by a bunch of chickens! They were nasty little buggers. They turned Tassi to stone! Things were not going well! We had to leave that girl behind....it was awful. I couldn't help her, but I was able to take pieces of the chicken boss to craft later...if we survived.
We climbed stairs for what felt like ages until we made it to the top of the tree and there we spotted a three headed chicken thing! It was at the top of the tree and there we had to fight. I was able to cast my faerie fire and it made good on its affects. My notes set up Edwyna for what was easily the most devestating attack she had ever seen. A massive force centered on all three heads of the monster and it created a vacuum around the three heads and killed the creature. The cockberus was harvested for parts.
When we passed through the portal the sun was on a new position...I was going to be late for work!
Potassium "Tassi" Sorbate
•We went to the beach. Amara called me beef curtains. What a bitch.
Blathnat and I went skinny dipping. Giant chicken monster showed up and killed us all. Sent us somewhere...
We met Cluckien at the River Strips in Limbo. He is going to take us to Cluckhalla. It’s where you go when you die. Bummer. Blathnat asked, “Why do men over 30 like birds?” Because their relationships have gone stale says this guy... Blathnat thought it’s because little boys like dinosaurs.
He also said that Cluckhalla is wonderful. We’ll be there forever. Most start the day by pecking at the ground for a few hours until lunch and then switch to pecking at grass. On Fridays they eat corn. It was implied that we will turn into chickens when I asked if it was a problem we don’t have beaks. No one’s ever left Cluckhalla before according to Cluckien.
Amara had a panic attack. She was really worried she’d lose her job. I told her she most assuredly had because Be’bop is a bitch.
Steven greeted us. He used to be a sea serpent. He let us know that turning into a chicken is a horribly painful transformation. Wait till your arms and legs to blow off and you turn into an egg. And you get a free Viking hat. It rains corn on Fridays. He played chicken with Blathnat. She won. I called him a bitch. He said, “What do you expect? I’m a chicken.”
We knocked on the door of the oracle’s house and asked if there was a way to leave so that Amara could go back to work. “What is it you do that is more important than eating corn on Fridays?” said the incredulous oracle. Amara created a block and tackle and tried to fish with it. She caught a lobster. There was a lot of talk about corn side dishes.
There is a portal at the very top of the tree that leads up into the clouds. It will take us back, as long as we don’t die here. If we die, we are stuck.
We started climbing the inside of the tree and were swarmed by little chicks and one big bat winged bastard. I got stung and started turning into an egg. I tried to hold on, but...
Potassium "Tassi" Sorbate
•The Demonological Paradox
I didn’t read the letter on the quest board. Sue me. Wesley explained that we received a letter from Faelan. He runs a vineyard in Yeluma. He wants the adventurer’s guild to come quickly.
Introductions happened. Gary the ape alpha, or whatever, said he’s speaking to Ko’bal through his hat. I didn’t hear a thing when I put on his tinfoil hat. He did his normal handing our hair thing. I got comfortable with a little drink and smoke. Bram introduced Mimic and said, “We fight stuff and try to keep it from hitting you.” Gary pointed out he was the omega, what ever that means. Dartan was all like, “All you need to know about me is my name.” I laughed and called him EspressoDepresso. Thanks for that moniker, Blathnat. A doofy looking dude named Quercus and said, “My mom kicked me out, so I had to find a job.”
I wasn’t paying much attention to the scenery on the trip as I was focused on scribing a scroll. First class is like super comfy though.
Caran Gaelack, the owners son, picked us up at the train station. He told us recently their neighbor’s pets are going missing. Also, a couple dudes Gayland, Toby, Bob, and his brother Rob, and their other brother Alan. Also, Chris the stable hand. They were all kind of idiots.
The Yeluma papers have reported people doing magic and just dying. One dude casted chill touch. Dead. One of the guys casted like astral projection and like died. This reached the papers a week ago, but who knows how long it’s been going on?
Caren’s dad was really worried with the guild stayed in Yeluma during the great pirate war which happened an undisclosed number of years ago.
Our host gave us all a bottle of spice wine. He introduced his daughter Elrin and his wife Elris. Their middle child is at Springreach University. It’s Blathnat!
He explained that he thought something quite sinister was going on. He’s heard through the rumor mill that people have been going into the woods and conversing with unsavory creatures out there. When they return, they act very different. Chris went in with a horse and neither came back. He believes the creature are fey. They don’t usually go into the woods unless it’s under the full moon for totally different reasons. They’ve noticed some masked figures around a house in the city. Which isn’t necessarily the weirdest thing as they use masks for all kinds of things, but these ones stood out. In the woods we should go past the standing stones.
We found effigies made of small bones. The largest was likely a dog, but mostly cats. The bone ears clued us in. Dartan knew this was for sure done for an evil deity.
Gary kept calling Dartan and Quercus betas and subjects. Quercus seemed to embrace it.
Gary pretended to be a druid and realized that the alter in the center of the clearing was an ancient druidic site for sacrifices to the first druidic circle.
We continued deeper into the woods and found a series of nightmares. Not the horses, like the bad dream, although there was a horse. Kinda. A few “horses” were just a human whose skin was stretched over the horse itself. There was also a human centipede. I truly wish I didn’t know what that was.
A centipede hag said, “Are cadavers really people still?” She invited us to her home to discuss it. Nah. Well ok, but with misgivings. There were three of them. Damn it.
The hags seemed to know a lot about us. A creepy amount. I asked why and they claimed they know a great deal of a lot of things. They refused to clarify how. They wanted to keep some secrets.
They explained the cadavers came to them because they sought their son. She assumed we came here to make a deal with him. People want power, but don’t like the cost that it takes. Sometimes when they use the power they’ve been given, they can’t handle it and they croak. The bodies are brought back here and... disfigured. Bob Rob and Alan were triplets the same person to begin with. Turning them into a human centipede seems even more twisted now.
The hags blamed their icky skin on the fact that no one brings them Retinal. Vitamin A is wonderful for your skin apparently. I don’t think any cream is going to fix the horror that was their faces. They should have started a skin care routine centuries ago.
One of the hags put on tea. When it was offered to us, she explained the ingredients: 3 lunar moth wing, 4 wings from a dragon fly, the corn in your teeth you can’t get out (and the teeth with it), toe jam, a hint of jasmine, all wrapped in a cocoon of black widow silk. She recommended sweetening it with raw sugar, not refined, to be classy.
Dartan, pointed out that is in fact the hags fault they’re all dead. They said people only received what they asked of their delightful son they birthed and grew so fast. God damn, can you imagine that process? Better yet, don’t.
The son finds wayward souls who are troubled, upset, want to make a change, bring someone back, prove themselves, yada yada. They come into the woods looking for someone to provide that to them. The hags only provide information how to meet their son so they can watch him grow just like any mother would.
He doesn’t have a name. We’d have to find the book of names if we truly wanted to figure that out. “Isn’t son his name then,” someone asked. No, that’s a title. His other title Demegoth. A Demegoth is a type of demon that feeds on pain and sorrow and is able to provide deals with people for what you would equate from a cantrip to a 7th level necro spell for a blood price.
They told us the secret to summoning him: build a bone effigy using a pet you sacrificed near the alter and he’ll come.
I maybe sort of threatened them and they polymorphed Gary and I into chickens. Bram agreed to leave, but not by walking the way she suggested. We all wiggled out in one manner or another.
We went to town to get a chicken, sacrificed it, and then built an effigy. The Demegoth arrived. I started thinking about tamales. I told him that parents don’t allow stupid children to make bad choices and we should defend people from it. EspressoDepresso started talking about making deals. I said he needed a spanking, and not in a sexy way. I went back to thinking about tamales. Bram got bored and punched it. After we whooped its ass for a while it destroyed the effigy and disappeared.
We went to the house of masked people. Asking questions got a door slammed in our face. When we broke in the woman cast fireball incinerating herself. I found a note that said, “Don’t come in pairs. Enter and leave at separate times. Maintain the illusion of farmstead. Bring pets keep them in the cellar.” We returned all of the cellar pets and made 200 gold each. Dartan tried to sell all the branded sheep from the farm that apparently had belonged to Rob, Bob, and Alan. Since that wasn’t successful, he released all of the ewes and kept the ram as his slave. I think it was a sex thing.
We told Blathnat’s parents about everything we discovered, and that we would need to return another day to address the hags. They gave us each 50 gold and a promise to pay the next crew’s train travel.
Gary handed Bram the tinfoil hat. I’m not sure if he was pretending to hear Ko’bal or not, but Bram did say he was being instructed to punch Gary. Hard.
Tamales are really good.
Potassium "Tassi" Sorbate
•We’ve all been mildly inconvenienced lately. Little curses like my lighters not working, Gary’s change in odor, Wesley’s ex-wives reaching out, and Bram bumping his toenail on doors. Some creep was hiding behind Wesley. He said he’d cursed the guild to not accept new members. “You’ll be coming to my dinner party or you’ll be more cursed. I’m bored and want company for a dinner party.
He was serving lemon pound cake and left over Ko’bal. Piprem was served canned soup and seemed to enjoy it. Bram ate knuckle sandwiches.
Our host asked if we were aware of “The Trolley Problem”. It’s a recent thing that’s come up. What happens if there is 5 people on the train tracks vs one person on another track? Who do you choose to die? Gary started talking into his hat and said this was still murder according to the dead. Bram questioned if Ko’bal was actually dead. Gary acted all squirrely.
Our host tested how we interact with trolley car system in real time. We are going to see which people we choose to save from a fireball. One human woman, or 10 goblins? We just couldn’t make any sense of this. Then he threatened if we were to sneeze 7 times we would die. Bram started sneezing. I changed the woman into a giant ape and dragged Bram closer to the lever. Bram made the trolley hit her. Our host seemed disappointed.
On the way to our next challenge Gary started on about Ko’bal again. When is he gonna' just get over it? Bram mentioned that a crab ripped Kobal in two.
Our next challenge was a falling bolder, with a choice of 10 goblins or 20 kobolds. Bram just put all 30 together and stopped the boulder. I made a suggestion and was also uncursed. I immediately lit up and the host asked if I’d seen the no smoking sign. I don’t really care about his asthma.
Gary and Pip tied themselves up for our next challenge. Our host “pretended” to be a vampire and threatened to eat one of them. Bram held him while Mimic saved our co-workers.
He was so impressed with us that he asked us to fight his adult men. How do you defend yourself against little, tiny vampire adult men? With fists and weapons I guess. He also brought out trolleys, and a t-shirt cannon. Then he dropped a boulder on my head and said I was stoned. Truth. Maybe that’s why I thought this chest tat was a good idea.
Flefydwaa "Be'bop" Warmop
•Wesley told us that Miss Bailey Gladwell has urgent need of our services. Her father George has gone missing. To not hear from him for 6 months is concerning. He’s followed his passion of birdwatching in recent years. She suggested old guys all do it. I wonder if that’s what Wesley does while we put our lives on the line.
When Bailey last heard from him, he was couple of days from setting sail. He’d heard of a small cluster of islands out in the Samak Ocean from old men sailors in port Kalli. Flora and Fauna unlike anywhere in the world. She doesn’t know how he made his way there, but she should have heard something by now.
What happened to him? Bad weather? Pirates? She was unsure. She went through study and found no charts or maps. He’s become spontaneous in his retirement.
We are to find something concrete, proof of death or bring him home and we each get a gold bar worth 1,000 gold. This lady was disgustingly well to do. She probably thought a banana cost 1 platinum.
We arrived at Port Kalli and Cillian immediately gravitated toward food. He talked to the chef about cooking techniques. He made us very spicy dragon rolls, a nice sashimi sampling, and slightly stinky soup. Thordak and I had a really rough time. Then, and later... Cillian bought a significant amount of fish which he stored in his magic backpack. Cillain asked the chef if he had seen George Gladwell. Nope.
I looked around the port for obvious captains. A big blue burly orc captain knew Georgie. He was also familiar with the Paradise Islands and gave us directions.
He gave Cillian an axebeak curry recipe with a ridiculous quantities of spices. Why is this dude so fixated on food?
The Sister told him, “You look wise beyond your years. This is not a compliment.” He claimed to be twenty, but must have been in his fifties.
I asked if Georgie was friends with any other sailors and was told to look for Captain Stu. He’s a tall, lanky, hairy, bugbear that you can smell before you see him. Last this guy heard Stu was headed toward Teikoku. We found extra tall bugbear that absolutely reeked. Cillian confirmed that this was Captain Stu. He claimed to be a good friend of Georgie. Cillian asked if he knew the specific island George traveled to. Stu had dropped him off. His next trip to the islands he looped around the archipelago twice, but he didn’t see Georgie’s boat. He assumed George left on his own. He offered us some moist paper out of the waistband of his pants. No thanks, my dude. We already have directions.
Stu told us that Georgie had a tent, barrels of water, and food. He’d known he’d be there a few months. Stu’s description of Georgie was, “Sweet man, loves birds, won’t shut the fuck up about them.” No one else had seen Georgie after Stu.
We sailed to the islands and looped around them looking for the island with the most interesting birds. We found an ancient well on the island. The Sister communed with nature. She found out the toucans were the most prominent beast on the island. She also searched for different kinds of creatures and didn’t find anything else. We went down the well. A dragon burst through the wall. He was just a little guy, but Cillian thought there might be a bigger one around. We butchered it and continued into the cave where it had tunneled in. We found pools of corrosive liquid. Thordak ferried us all across after casting jump. Cluck was able to make some of the smaller jumps. Cillian did fall in, and boy did it hurt. The Sister transformed into a giant bat, and Cillian grew dragon wings. They scouted and came across more cave dragons. We fought the adults and two more young. Then we butchered them and weighed our bags down with their carcasses. We found nothing of interest in the caves.
We found George’s body on another island. His journal full of bird notes. He said that he did a terrible job mooring his boat and it drifted away, and he hopes that his family eventually learns of his fate. I shoved chunks of discomposed man into my bag along with his journal.
When we returned to Bailey she was really insistent that I not take the body out in front on her. Squeamish. Whatever, I took him to Moonbow.
I finally have the funds to open my business. Yay dead rich guys, I guess.
The adventurers were betrayed by their guide. Seren tried to feed them to the Mimic Oasis, but she was unsuccessful. The Mimic Oasis was destroyed, Bram's dog Mimic tore out Seren's throat, and Blathnat found 1,000 gold. They returned to Springreach with the sand needed to craft a Bloodwell Vial, +2.
Potassium "Tassi" Sorbate
•Wesley gathered us together to tell us about a cursed village named Willowcreek. It keeps getting destroyed. Why do they keep rebuilding it? They are having some disappearances. Wesley said he would start ignoring them if they didn’t pay so well. He wished us good luck. Shedon thinks they get their money through tax evasion.
Willowcreek was an extremely convenient distance from Springreach. It was right down the road.
Ko’bal says he’s the nesting partner in the polycule of Alphas. He argued with a mustachioed man that was a cigar aficionado that said he did not know what that means. His name's Derek.
Robbie Robert Robinson got here not long ago and found completely abandoned town. They’ve gone from 30 down to 6 since they found this empty town. This happened in 4 days. I asked if they thought they were disappearing the way the previous inhabitants had, and he said this had obviously been the invasion with a Dulahan and a lot of undead. Strange fish in the river that they keep eating that makes their thought swell up. When I asked why they kept eating it he replied, “Clearly you don’t understand the level of laziness that fishing is.” Robbie told us here is a cave, and a nice temple. They have service tonight. They drink communion and have out of body experiences. That sounds fun. Service is in an hour.
The Sister told Gary that SRU is dirt cheap and could address his deficiencies.
The cave is just up there. They put up a sign that said, “Scary” because the sounds of wind coming out of it sound like moans and groans.
Derek—the cigar aficionado—says Robbie is the better of the two priests. His brother—the other priest Bobbie Bobberson—is still here. Robbie he’s know for a little while. Bobbie he’s known for a little bit. Derek and Robbie used to work at a coal processing plant in Springreach. He met Bobbie a few days ago. Not showing up for food is how they notice they are missing. The floors are always covered in wet mucus when they check for them in the morning.
We went into an unlocked house and found opalescent mucus like oil on water all over the floor. I asked The Sister if she would ask Robbie for a fish. She said something about seeing a lot more of me in the near future. What? Was that a death threat? Anyway, Bram and I gossiped about the fact that she may or may have not smiled recently. When she returned I inspected the fish and it had the same properties of the mucus.
Ko’bal and Gary went off on their own. Likely for romance. I tried to give them their privacy. Bram double checked. For sure romance. Gary asked Bram to join in, so for some reason we all decided to watch. We were told Ko’bal ate the fish and drank the water. Now he can only breathe water. They decided this meant that the villagers were jumping in the river and now eating each other.
Gary said he would keep an eye on Ko’bal with his head in the pail since he was already used to holding his hair up. The Sister examined Ko’bal’s (bruised) throat and it looked like he almost grew gills.
We went to the temple and found 7 dead aboleth spawn in the temple. This is what happens when you drink too much aboleth mucus. You turn into these strange creatures. These particular ones were all dried out. They didn’t have any physical wounds.
We hid in the tree line to watch their communion. Bobbie told the people gathered. One within the cave will provide guidance under which we can prosper and Ascend to the divine. He fed them aboleth flesh and blood and said they needed to hurry to the cave before they suffocated.
We got to the cave and they had crucified the aboleth and were feasting off it. Gross. I convinced the woman holding the baby—Robert Aiden—to save herself and her child. So it didn’t trigger anybody. Especially someone that’s a cheater.
Ko’bal turned into a topaz dragon and breathed on everyone else that couldn’t be convinced to come away safely with us. The aboleth’s corpse shed broodlings. One man ran for his life, but the rest were destroyed. Ko’bal is really good at finishing guys in his mouth. Gary doesn’t mind. He kissed him passionately anyway.
Flefydwaa "Be'bop" Warmop
•Noir came into the guild with a mission. He pressed play on a tape recorder and Harold’s voice told us to go up to the mountains through the cursed woods. There is a comet in the sky, but it is actually a dragon, and Noir wants its heart. He’ll give the party a potion now, and gold if we are successful.
We went to the Shambles because Cillian wanted cooking ingredients. There was a chromatic dragonborn that asked what we wanted. He played some mind games, then bitched about not having a tail. I was not in the mood to have my time wasted. Cillian asked for a dragon heart and a liver. He planned to cook when we got there.
We got to the cursed woods and found a turned over wagon. There was a man and 4 horses laying dead. There was a massive oval shaped scale that almost cleaved him in half. I checked the temperature with the back of my hand. Not too hot. It was most assuredly from a jet powered dragon. Cillian knew more specifically a Crimson Glow Valstrax. It doesn’t have a breath weapon. It has exhaust ports on its wings to channel its breath through to attain Mach speeds. This specimen is the best representation of dragonly might. Physical raw power. The damage wouldn’t be elemental.
We set up camp and noticed a really bright shooting star, but it was moving really slowly. As we took watches at night we could see it getting closer. On Thordak’s watch he did a terrible job. After the dragon landed an attacked him he insisted his name was Ko’bal. Who the hell is that? I cured him and went back to bed. It was real fucking hard to sleep with him muttering out by the fire about chickens.
We climbed the mountain and Thordak continued to mutter about Ko’bal. We defeated the dragon. Noir gave us 400 gold each and a very special potion that went to Thordak.
Potassium "Tassi" Sorbate
•I told the party that Tariq Zoubeir was once the most celebrated drum maker in all of Jamila. I wanted a Rhythm-Maker's Drum. Badly. Not only to improve my music, but to improve my magic.
The problem was that Tariq had retired 15 years ago and repeatedly refused to make any more drums. He was living at a legendary resort in Zaryah Ma'wahe Oasis of Jamila, and that the staff there probably wouldn’t want to allow us access to him.
We found Vigo the Dhampir wizard that would give us a teleport all the way to Jamila. For a price. 700 gold! I put on the charm, and offered a favor, and he knocked the price down to 500 gold for a favor owed. He mentioned us giving him some blood which The Sister strongly objected to. He laughed and said that we shouldn’t be so eager to give up blood to strangers. There were some bad people out there
The oasis was very humid. You could see both jungles and desert. The breeze appeared to be enchanted. Everything smelled lovely.
A woman named Suli gave us and extensive menu of what the resort had to offer. Yukio dropped 1000 gold specifying it to be used for only her only. I offered 400 gold for accommodations for the rest of us, but The Sister insisted on paying for her own way and two personal attendants. So, in the end I came out of pocket 300 gold for Zylrie, Gary, and myself.
After we’d had some time to relax, The Sister became an owl to scout out Tariq’s villa. She led him to us and he allowed us into the estate. We found out that he wasn’t Tariq at all, but a doppelganger named Cael. 15 years ago, he’d Tariq got obsessed with firemoss. Not to smoke it, but for the resonance it created in drum making. It could be cured into a transmutation field to be worked into an instrument. Lady Emer of Cloudfang Keep was rumored to have the best firemoss in the whole continent. Cael had led Tariq there and waited 3 days. He never came back. It was for selfish reasons he posed as Tariq. Just wanted an easy life of gardening.
Lady Emer’s home is a one-day trip to the mountain and then a climb. On the way up the mountain Cael told us that she works for an order of assassins. One time she did proclaim that she would ascend to godhood. She hired bards to sing to her assentation, that pissed off a lot of people, and that’s why she is cursed.
We had an argument about taco salad. Cael doesn’t share food!
Gary caught the faint sweet, spiced scent on the air. Firemoss. Cael brought us to a risky looking walkway. It led to a keep. It didn’t appear to be in the greatest shape. It looked old. The door was flanked by owlbear statues. There was a 60-foot tower. Gary and The Sister heard the cawing of a griffon. We decided to just walk up to the front door and knock. We were atacked by owlbears.
We went inside and the house appeared completely ruined. I smelled something wonderful in a room with 2 basilisks. Gary cast a fog cloud and we destroyed them. They were wearing 2 golden collars labeled Blinkers and Blunders. In two crates we found foods and firemoss with the order of the Ouroboros's Logistics. I grabbed a brick of firemoss which was enough for 6 doses.
In a salon we found many treasures. Partially disassembled drum seems out of place. A door in that salon led to the central courtyard. We found a woman with some wyverns. I owned up to the fact that we killed her pets because she seemed pretty cool. She put me on my ass. I lost track of how many times I was knocked down.
In the end she was defeated, but at great cost. Yukio had been petrified as well as the drum maker Tariq. We found a vast amount of treasure and a wand of restoration with enough charges left to bring one person back from petrification. Tariq had been stone longer, so we rescued him and got the drum. We’ll come back for Yukio someday. Maybe. Probably not. She seemed to have a death wish the way she stormed that room and refused to take cover. On top of that she hadn’t been very nice to me. You get stoned and miss one mission and she never let it go...
A deposition is a sworn, out‑of‑court interview where a witness answers questions from the lawyers while a court reporter records everything. It happens during discovery, long before trial, and it’s meant to lock in the witness’s story. Both lawyers are present, both get to ask questions, and both receive the full transcript afterward.
Statements made in the depositions were leaked to Wesley:
Brian Newland
Lisa Phillips
Justin Cooley
Michael Estep
Shawn Cooley
Shawn Grooms
Randolph L. Walters Jr.
Shedon
Mama
Rhonda Grooms
Ko’bal
Arguments about what evidence and witnesses are allowed.
Both sides question jurors.
The side with the burden of proof calls witnesses first
Plaintiff The Adam’s County Boys
Then that witness is done.
After the first side finishes all their witnesses, they “rest.”
Then the defense begins its case and calls its own witnesses, following the same pattern.
If the defense raises something new, the plaintiff can call additional witnesses to rebut it.
Judge explains the law.
Calliope
•Wesley approached the party and let us know that Tassi was being sued by some towns guards or something. He had received a leak of a deposition, a statement that witnesses make before a trial, and he let us have a look. We made it to court and as soon as we walked in the plantiffs asked for a recess which really annoyed the judge. It was granted reluctantly. Tassi's lawyer had some issue and he just bailed from the court leaving Bik as her new lawyer and us passing notes to her.
Brian Newland made his statement and we took our turn and we really had something ahead of us. We asked the man who pretended to be so innocent if he was aware that his brother was sending out painting of his genetals to women in Springreach. We asked him about the break in and his small music career.
next was Lisa Phillips we questioned her on the warrantless break in and also the fact that they kidnapped Shedon and tossed him into a bag. A bag they said was to stop him from easing sending but...that wouldn't have stopped that spell. We questioned their need for vigilante justice in the far of proper channels. Are they going to watch someone outside of their jurisdictions on the basis of hearsay and rumor. We asked them if they understood that as public servants being able to make parody and commentary was entirely allowed.
Justin “Baby-Faced, Baldin’, Dipshit” Cooley was next. We aske him is he realized that other people have it worse and despite his receding hairline that he should get over it. He said that it was not up to him how other people dealt with things. He was hurt by the comments. We asked him if he realized that he looked like a "dipshit" and if he was sure that he wasn't one. We asked him if there was drug testing for "The boys" he said no. He was not awarte of any drug tests. He was not an ordained and justified part of the city legal force. They were funded by donations which we interpreted as "protection money" and pointed out that they had no real jurisdiction and they responded with they had "moral" jurisdiction.
Michael Estep
We said that Michael looked like a wrestler and he didn't like that. Not that the wrestler he was compared to was a bad wrestler. It was more that the wrestler was a heel in the company and that was a bad look. We caught him in an easy trap. He let his wife get taken by the guards for her crimes, but when it was a personal matter he made sure to break into my home.
Shawn Cooley
We let him know that he had gone out of his way and broken the law by the standards of Springreach and now that he was being bullied by the city he was upset. He wasn't sure if pound cakes he was getting int he mail were safe to eat. He said that he loved lemon pound cakes (Everyone does) and we said he could learn spells to check poisons and purify foods. In a city like Springreach learning spells is rather easy. We nearly convinced him to leave and go to college to drop the charade alas we didn't manage it due to a poor choice of words. We got on the record that he was not a guard.
Mama Cakes
We asked why they Boys were in her area asking for protection money. She said they were thugs. That she was being extorted for money. She was very excitable she only spoke in shouts actually. She confirmed that what they were doing in criminal.
Shawn Grooms
He had nothing to say and we didn't even call him.
Randolph L. Walters Jr.
We noted how he may have been gay. He cried that he was a happily married man. We asked him he understood Tassi was talking about his dad and not his mom when he said he was a son of a bitch. He said that he was ashamed of the song and how people thought his kid was Tassi's child. We pointed out that Tassi would have been four when his daughter was born. He called one of us a "bitch" and we noted that he said it despite the fact he hated being called a son of a bitch.
He got pissed and got up to fight us! So we decided to fight back!
We killed them all and the judge said we could keep whatever was on their body so long as we removed them from the courtroom.
The Sister
•
We were called not to battle, but to judgment. A strange arena, where words are sharpened and truth is weighed as though it were coin. Tassi stood accused for her voice, for turning lived events into song, and for placing power beneath scrutiny. We spoke where we could, offering structure to her defense, though it became clear that such proceedings are less about truth and more about who may endure long enough to claim it. Even so, the rhythm held. Questions were asked. Doubt was sown. The wheel turned slowly, but it turned.
It was not the court that ended the matter, but the man who sought to control it. Randy Walters abandoned the illusion of order and chose violence, and in doing so revealed the truth beneath the proceedings. What began as accusation ended as conflict, and conflict resolved itself in the only language it truly understands. The officers fell. Tassi was declared innocent. The room returned to stillness, though it was not the same stillness as before. There is a pattern in this: those who grasp too tightly at authority often hasten their own end. I do not celebrate this. I simply observe it. The song she wrote will outlast them. That, perhaps, is its own form of judgment.
I will note, for the sake of completeness, that in his final moments, Randy Walters proved himself… remarkably consistent in character. There are many names one might give such a man. I find myself settling, with uncharacteristic certainty, on one that requires little philosophy to understand:
“A son of a bitch.”
Potassium "Tassi" Sorbate
•The Lost Son of House Vaelithar
Edwina gathered us because there is some assignment in Thiramin to find a lost son of Aldric Vaelithar. She will get Elven chain out of the deal if we are successful. His son Eiran led a party into the Pinecrest Mountains and didn’t come back. The first few weeks was just an assumption that it was a delay in travel. Then Aldric sent out his own scouts who didn’t even find a camp. So we are being commissioned to find the son. Dead or alive. Probably dead. Bummer.
Aldric said, “It’s been a number of months since I lost the boy. My other son useless. He doesn’t take anything seriously. Even when he tries he still fucks it up. I’m sure you can find him at one of the taverns chasing loose women.” Apparently Eiran mentioned in his last letter that he had traveled to Hfar before going into the mountains. He hired a dwarven guide Thorgrim. We should find him or his coworkers to be pointed in the right direction. He’s heard a tale of a set of ruins deep deep in the mountains. He really should have tried something easier that that for a first mission. Like sewer work. The ruins past Titan’s Peek Mountain.
In Hfar we found as big as Mimic, but look larger because they are super fluffy and adorable. I pet them all. The owner pulled them Thorglad. “Took the wee elvan lad most of the way. We won’t go there. It’s cursed. He doesn’t know why, he says we’ll know it when we see the mountain. 50 gold. And dragon firemoss
There was the skeleton of something before the giants. I can’t describe how massive it, or the sword through its chest, was. Thorglad will wait for us 2 days. We’ll find the ruins between these two mountains.
Ko’bal talked about chicken clouds and Thorglad and I were so confused. Then he started talking about his sex pillow pants. So gross.
We began our decent into the mountains and found the ruins. Large smooth stone buildings coming out of the ground. This construction was something ancient but even more than that it should have eroded long ago. The stone is still smooth as if it was carved yesterday. I’ve never seen anything else like this in any of the books I’ve studied. We came to a huge set of double doors 20 feet wide and 80 feet high. They were open just enough fora group of humanoids to squeeze through.
Inside there was no markings on walls. Smooth stone floors. Edwina sent her manifest mind to scout ahead that saw some skulls and a “bird thing with weird hotdogs”. What...? The Sister charged in to attack it. The Sister knew that these were aberrations that have existed longer than the cycle that anything should have lived. She believes this place should be exterminated. We harvested some parts.
We found the skulls of giants outside a room full of bones. Everything was covered in frost, but we did notice some boot prints headed down a tunnel. We follow them to Eiran’s corpse. His body was covered in electrical burns and a look of terror frozen on his face. He had the armor Edwina sought, red cape, and a short sword. Ko’bal wrapped the sword inside the cape for Aldric. We decided to hunt the creature that killed him.
The stonework nearby had the frost damaged as though something hot came blasting down this way. We traveled through the tunnels and found a creature that could blast back to back lightning bolts. Bram ended it with a haymaker.
Thorglad was waiting for us very surprised we were alive. We headed back to Thiramin to return the sword and cape. Aldric gave us 240 platinum for telling him his son died with his sword in hand and that we avenged his death by destroying the monster that killed him.
On the way out of town we partied with the useless son. I now have a hook up for northern firemoss.
Edwyna Faelar
•A momentous occasion. We had gathered the party. Calliope had to tend to a last minute guild emergency, so she sent Ko-Bal and Zylrie in her place. They were excellent amongst the group.
We used the teleportation circles to get us to Thiramen, where we met Lord Aldric at his home. He talked about his son, how proud he was of him. But, we noted that he fully ignored his other son, and there weren’t even any portraits of him anywhere in the home. Aldric informed us that Eiran had contracted out a Sherpa company from northern Hfar to guide him through the mountains. So, we rode the train to Hfar and did the same thing.
Thorglad was our guide, it was his brother, Thorgrimm who had taken Eiran. He took us all the way to the base of Titan’s Peak mountain, but wouldn’t go any further as it was cursed, and told us we’d know why when we saw it. And we did. As tall as the mountain itself was this titanic skeleton, larger than any giant that’s ever existed. Nearby, we found the ruins. Smooth and unyielding to any weather, though we knew they were more ancient than possibly even the mountains surrounding it.
Inside the temple, we first found some weird hotdog-pistachio-bird demons. Very strange, yet more ancient than any living thing should have been. Tassi nearly died, but we eventually dispatched the aberrations. Afterwards, through some exploring of the chambers, we found it. Eiran’s body, scorched and frozen for the rest of eternity into a pitiful fae full of terror. We could have ended it there, taken his sword, cloak, and chain shirt back, but we knew we needed closure for Lord Aldric. So, we carried on through the tunnels.
As we progressed, we eventually came to a long corridor. At the end was this strange creature which seemed to have someone control over time itself, attacking before most of our party could react. Right off the bat, it cast a meteor swarm upon us. I was down. So were Zylrie and Mimic, and Tassi nearly fell as well. It was her magic though that brought us back and we were able to continue the fight and slay the creature.
NOTE: Next time, prepare COUNTERSPELL
As this strange creature was casting lightning bolt on us, we knew that was enough closure and vengeance. We received a pounding as well, so we decided to head back to Thiramen to finish our mission. In those tunnels still lies uncounted and untold horrors.
Lord Aldric thanked us, rewarding each of us with a sizeable sum of platinum pieces, and me with Eiran’s Chain Shirt.
All in all, the mission was a success and I hope that we can return to the temple soon to clear out what monstrosities lie inside.