There was a letter aggressively nailed to the door. Written in the tiniest font possible is a note that roughly read “Hello, fellow humans, it is I, Tax Evasion. I have fallen for classic human trap and now need human help.”
Gideon and Dartan think this is a trap set up by a rat. They recently the went on a mission where people were controlled by rats pulling on parts of your hair. There was a rat king amalgamation of rats all smushed together. Fork Lift was the controller of Harrision who originally wrote to the guild. The rats are fine as long as you play along. We need to liberate the people with red hats.
We found out that a drow fella with white coffin tattoo on the back of his hand repeatedly stabbed Gideon one hundred and two years ago. He “woke up” about two years ago.
We are going to the town that is a 3 day walk away. You know the one. It was decided to take a carriage instead and I was peer pressured into paying for one of the days. Gideon taught Piprim how to play cards.
We went to the fancy cheese side of town, so I put on my nice suit. This side of town is run by Archibald and he has something in the basement we need to get to.
We should knock the hats off and attack the rats underneath. There is no need to hurt the people who are likely to attack us. Piprim talked to a woman named Cheesecake Factory and they moved like a marionette. They were very interested in cheese. She asked if we were here for the festivities.
Allergic Reaction has cheese wine. We should speak to him. No one wanted cheese wine. Instead we spoke with Mild Concussion who directed us to Unpaid Parking Ticket to get some shredded cheese to lift our spirits.
Bikaji said something unpleasant followed by, “All my thoughts are thoughts are outside thoughts.”
Piprim make an error in judgement and mentioned the name Roof Tile. There was no rat by that name. They asked is he had meant Moldy Spores.
Divorce papers is selling cheese hats. The rats play sports like any of the normal humans do. Full contact football with a tongue of a cow. Shirts and skins. When you get hit with the tongue it makes a slap sound and everyone in the crowd go “OOOOOOO I bet that hurt.”
Gideon called out that he was going to do a card trick. The crowd was concerned about Satanism, but Gideon brushed that off by saying he was an illusionist. Not a magician. Bikaji used the opportunity to case a spell that killed13 rats at once. The people beneath were knocked unconscious.
I asked why Dartan acts the way he does when he got plenty of hugs as a child. He said, “My mother was an embodiment, she didn’t have a physical form.” I trust Melaina more than my nemesis, but we had bigger problems to solve than arguing about it.
We went to Archibald’s house and talked our way in with me posing as Egg the rat. He spilled the beans and told us that familiars get blamed for the cost of being conjured back after being sacrificed. Archibald was very upset when he realized he’d be bamboozled. He’d had names all picked out for the party: Cigarette Wizard, Gravy Knife, Meat Lantern, Bonesaw, and Rust Bucket.
Archibald elaborated that the rat king takes care of them regularly and provided him with all the rats. His true name is Marshall. He doesn’t have a moral compass. He’s a rat. It was fabled that he is the collective of what happens to all familiar rats when they die over and over. An amalgamation. His manifestation has turned him into the rat king. The rats are caring for him, rebuilding him, and got him a gun. I punched the rat off his head. Dead.
In the basement another rat suggested I drill a hole through my eye socket and stick the tail inside to direct wire into the brain. I found lots of coffins and bodies in different states of decay that have been discarded.
Gideon warned us Marshall has a breath weapon. I bravely repositioned to get out of the breath. I heard Piprim say, “First you beat kids, then you beat meat. Come on!” I’m glad I left the room.
Gideon took Marshall down with a card. From its corpse one single tiny magical rat. It was a plushy that Gideon put on his shoulder.
