Knix and Knax, your ...mostly... friendly neighborhood Pawn Shop and Goods Emporium Custodians need trusted adventures to deliver a VIP (very important parcel). The following posting has been distributed to the usual adventurer haunts:

"Looking for the finest adventurers and would be heroes. Individuals should have some of the following: familiarity of volatile magics, regeneration capabilities, end-of-life insurance, navigation (over and under land) specialities, combat experience, guard experience, a distrust of kobolds and the fae, proclivity towards diplomacy, lack of fear of small spaces, lack of a fear of expansive spaces, an inclination towards violence should aforementioned diplomacy fail with the sole intent of safeguarding the package.

DO NOT DROP. PUNCTURE, KICK, EXPLODE, USE AS AN IMPROVISED WEAPON, USE A PLANED WEAPON, SIT ON, EXPOSE TO EXTREME TEMPERATURES (BOTH HIGH AND LOW), STORE IN EXTRA DIMENSIONAL SPACES, STORE IN VOID DIMENSIONAL SPACES, POLIMORPH, ANTHROPOMORPHIZE, SIT IN A CART AND FORGET ABOUT IT FOR TWO MONTHS I TOLD YOU THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT YOU LOST AN ENTIRE STATUESHUTUPFOOLITSRECORDINGALLOFTHISGODSDAMNIT...cough

Please gather at KnixKnax's Goods Emporium on the morning of....let's say 3 days! See you then!"