Dear Rohin,

I hope Mother hasn’t discovered the latest thing you’ve done yet. If she has, I’m sorry. If she hasn’t, for the love of everything holy, stop reading this letter and go fix it before she does.

As for me, I have once again found myself doing things that would be considered deeply questionable if anyone important were watching.

I was asked by the Guild to help with a job. I had half a mind to refuse, naturally. Not because I’m lazy, mind you. A Laqoc simply understands the value of carefully selecting which dangers are worth ones time.

Unfortunately, the job involved going to the desert.

The desert, Rohin.

I had never been.

Naturally, I accepted immediately.

We were being sent to retrieve some sort of artifact—or artifacts—for Springreach University. The details were somewhat unclear, which I’m sure comes as a shock to you. Apparently when academics say, “We need someone to retrieve something from a tomb in the middle of the desert,” they consider that sufficient information.

The party was…interesting. I’ve met a few of them before and they seem capable enough. Though some wher new and quite a few were spell casters .... you know how much i love that though they did come in handy at times!

Our journey started well enough.

Now Rohin, you know I’m an excellent navigator. Maps are practically second nature to me. I can look at a landscape and determine where we are, where we’ve been, and where we ought to be going so I naturally took charge.

Everything went along swimmingly with not but a few hiccups.

Eventually we reached the desert proper, where we were promptly attacked by scorpions.

Giant ones.

One of them even managed to grab me in its claw!

But no scorpion will hold me down and I lead our party to a resounding victory.

We camped for the night and continued our journey the following morning.

Things were going surprisingly well.

Which, as you know, is usually when things become considerably worse.

We spotted a strange man running through the desert with his dogs.

At first, he didn’t seem particularly threatening but I ordered the party to hide. Unfortunately one of them decided to taunt them.

Then one of his dogs came running toward us.

It was a foul beast!

This poor thing had been dead for years.

Which, as you might imagine, raised a few questions.

The first being, “Why is the dead dog running?”

The second being, “Why is that man coverd in linen?”

The third being, “Why are we standing here discussing this?”

We quickly discovered the answer.

Undead.

Naturally.

We fought the man and his undead dogs, and after a surprisingly unpleasant battle, which included the man who taunted them almost dying. Too bad he never listens to me. Thankfully we saved him, and we managed to kill the undead beasts and their master!

Again.

I’m beginning to think being dead is becoming less of a permanent condition than it used to be.

Eventually, we reached the tomb.

We entered cautiously, expecting traps, curses, ancient horrors, or possibly all three.

There were none.

No traps.

No mysterious curses.

No hidden mechanisms.

Nothing.

Frankly, I was beginning to feel insulted.

We eventually reached the center of the tomb—the room everyone referred to as the “big boss room.”

Now Rohin, you know how these things work.

Ancient tomb.

Desert.

Mysterious artifacts.

Undead guardian.

Naturally, I was expecting some enormous monster of legendary hatred and unimaginable fury.

Perhaps a giant undead warrior.

A demon.

A mummy king.

Something with enough teeth to make you reconsider your career choices.

Instead, we found a little slime.

A cute little slime.

That was the big boss.

It tried its best but was easily felled once again thanks to my great wit and leadership!

And so, after all that anticipation, we simply collected the artifacts and headed home.

All in all, a successful expedition.

I saw the desert, fought giant scorpions, killed an undead man and his undead dogs, explored an ancient tomb, and defeated a terrifying little blob of…whatever it was.

I’m sure Father will be very proud.

Give my regards to Mother.

And Rohin?

Try not to get yourself killed while I’m away.

I’d hate to have to come home and explain that I’m the responsible Laqoc now.

Your loving brother,

Joc.